Coffee Is Good As There Is No Proof

(I never met my college roommate before we moved in together. We didn’t get along very well, since she liked to drink a lot, even by herself, and she disrupted my studies and slept very frequently when she would come home drunk. I had just made myself a pot of coffee for a late night of studying.)

Roommate: “You shouldn’t drink so much coffee. That s***’s like poison. It’ll kill you.” *takes a swig of vodka right out of the bottle*

Me: “O… kay.”