Coffee Is Brewing And So Is Trouble

(I am a customer standing in line behind an elderly couple while they place their order with the cashier. I’m already quite annoyed since the lady held up a line of people outside in the tropical storm so she could stand in the doorway and shake off her umbrella until she was satisfied it was dry enough. Then, the man held up the line while he tried to decide what he wanted, but refused to lose “his place” in line. Finally…)

Cashier: “Okay, Mr. [Customer], your total is [amount]. Will that be for here or to-go?”

Husband: “For here! Always for here! Here is all we get!”

Wife: *pacing the counter over and over* “Where is the coffee? Why is there NO coffee for us?”

Cashier: “It’s brewing, ma’am. The customers before you took the last of it. I will be glad to bring it to your table once it’s ready. It won’t be long.”

(The cashier turns around to start toasting their bread and getting things ready for them.)

Husband: *leans over the counter* “Let me see the bread slices.”

Cashier: *holds up the slices* “Are these okay?”

Husband: “Let me see the other side!”

Cashier: *still holding them up, she turns the slices around for him to inspect the other side, still smiling*

Husband: “That is NOT toasted! Run them through again!”

Cashier: “I assure you, sir, they will be crispy. Our toasters are designed to not burn the bread, but they are toas—”

Husband: “AGAIN!”

Cashier: “Of course! I just want to make sure you understand they could get burnt if they go through again. It’s a set time; I can’t take them out sooner.”

(The husband grumbles and the cashier places the slices back in the toaster, giving the rest of us a “Sorry” look.)

Wife: *still pacing the counter* “They don’t have ANY coffee! No decaf, nothing! I can’t believe this. They know we come here; it should always be ready.” *she grabs a young male cashier that’s mopping nearby* “Young man, is that coffee brewing? We ARE waiting, you know.”

Cashier #2: “Yes, ma’am! It’s nearly done.” *walks off to the back as quickly as he can*

Cashier: *hold up the toast slices* “I’m sorry, they’re a bit black now, is this okay?”

Husband: “Fine. They’ll do. Next time don’t burn them, just toast them! Where is the coffee? My wife wants her coffee. You know we come here. Only here!”

Customer Behind Me: “Heaven help them, then…”

Wife: “This is ridiculous. Everyone is being so rude.” *yelling across the cafe at another worker that is wiping down counters* “HEY! [CASHIER #3]! HELLLOOOO? [CASHIER #3]! HELLLOOOO!”

(Cashier #3, a young girl, closes her eyes and lets out a sigh before turning to them, smiling.)

Cashier #3: “Hello Mr. and Mrs. [Customer]! That coffee will be right out, I promise you. I just checked on it.” *walks in the back as quick as she can, while the original cashier gives her a look of desperation*

Wife: “GOOD! At least [Cashier #3] is doing her job today! She’s our favorite. The only one we like.”

Cashier: *places the toast and their creamers on a plate and holds them out to the husband* “All set! I’ll go check on the coffee for you and bring it right out! Okay? It should be done.”

Husband: “TWO plates! ALWAYS TWO plates!”

Cashier: *still smiling and pleasant while she splits the toast and creamers evenly on two plates* “Of course, sir. I forgot. Please have a seat and I’ll—”

Wife: “We will wait RIGHT here! Do you understand me? It makes you work faster if we wait, you know. You guys are so lazy! Is the coffee done YET?!”

(I have FINALLY had enough, I’ve been in line so long that I’ve dried off from the heavy rain and need to get to work.)

Me: “NO! You will not! These people have done everything and more to give you great service! You need to get out of my way so I can order my food and get to work. This is enough already! MOVE! Right now! I mean it!”

Customer Behind Me: “Absolutely! I agree! Or I’ll move you myself, understand? You have done nothing but abuse these people! I’m SICK of it and I’m SICK of you!”

Cashier: “I’m so sorr—”

Me: “No, please don’t apologize to anyone in here. You have done nothing to be sorry for.”

Wife: “You people are SO RUDE! We are just trying to get our food and they’re so lazy! They didn’t even make our coffee!”

Customer Behind Me: “Shut up, you witch! MOVE. You have exactly five seconds before I do it myself. One… Two…”

(The couples eyes go wide and they both FINALLY shuffle out of the way all while grumbling about being cut in line and demanding their coffee.)

Cashier #3: “Can we come out now? Is it safe? I am SO switching my shift to nights! They know my NAME now!”