Clutching On To Your Dignity

(I’m getting married in October, so I’ve set up a secret Facebook group for my bridal party to discuss stuff on. I have a few bridesmaids and a bridesman in my party, which consists of my cousin and my best friends.)

Me: “Hey guys! [Cousin] and I were talking about meeting up in either [City] or [Other City] for a trial run at checking out Bridesmaid dresses.”

Bridesman: “Um… do I need to come?”

Me: “You can if you want but don’t need to.”

Bridesman: “To the other bridespeeps: am I wanted there or is that creepy/weird?”

Maid Of Honor: “Well, [bridesman], I think they would frown upon you trying on the dresses.”

Bridesman: “And I would tell them equal opportunity fools, and then try on the sluttiest dress I could find.”

Me: “I’m going to decree that if you do that and it fits, that’s what you’re wearing to the wedding.”

Bridesman: “Oh I’ll make it fit. It just might become an NC-17 wedding, and the phrase ‘hold my purse’ will take on a whole new meaning.”

Me: “I should mention, in reality, that my little cousin and my aunt will be there with us that day…”

Bridesman: “They’re not on here right? If so I meant the most conservative dress and I will be bringing a clutch.”