Clumsiness Occasionally Comes With Perks

I am a klutz. I bump into things, I cut myself on a daily basis (on anything, from paper to knives), and a lifetime supply of bandages is enough for a month. There is no medical reason for this. I am just inattentive and… a klutz. This has resulted in a very high pain tolerance, so whenever something happens again, I calmly walk to my husband so he can practise his first aid skills again.

This happens when I have a wart underneath my big toe. According to my husband, it must be bothering me, considering the size, so I make an appointment with my general doctor to remove it.

The day before I go to the doctor, I am wearing sandals and I am skipping up some stairs outside. Clumsy me gets stuck behind a stair; my slipper goes under and my feet go over. I feel something start to bleed and I put some tissues in between my toes. I calmly walk home.

I present my new wound to my husband and he gets the first aid kit with a groan. But when he cleans my wound… he finds out I managed to cut a piece of flesh from my toe!

We call the doctor, who gives us instructions to see if anything important got damaged, but it looks like I only cut some callus and the bleeding already stopped. It’s late in the day and the appointment is early in the morning, my husband cleaned my foot very well and I’m not feeling anything, so the doctor changes the appointment from wart inspection to wound inspection.

The next day comes and I indeed only cut callus… and the wart. It was a perfect slice and nothing (well, a tiny bit of skin) got damaged.

Doctor: “You know, if you were scared of the appointment, you could have just told me! You didn’t have to cut the wart off yourself!”