Clothing Deceptional

(I’m a female security guard doing my rounds on the floors when I spot a pale guy in his 30s clad only his thin underwear, facing someone’s door. Because his back is turned to me, I can’t tell what he’s doing.)

Me: “Hello! Excuse me, sir, do you need some help at all?”

Guest: *turns his head around slowly but keeps his body facing the door* “No, I’m fine. I just, uh, got locked out.”

Me: “Oh… I see.”

(I’m suspicious, because his posture looks like he’s urinating on the door. I stare at him for a while, and his face turns a bright red. Finally, I leave.)

Me: *on my walkie talkie* “[Manager], you would not believe what I just saw…”

(The next morning, the same guy came down with his wife and children, avoiding my eye, clothed this time. Please wear clothes in a hotel if you’re going out of your room for any, and I mean ANY reason!)