Climbing To New Heights Of Rudeness

There’s a public playground structure at a mall in the city where we live. The structure is designed specifically for climbing and is essentially a series of lily pads that spiral vertically about two stories high. The entire thing is encased in nets so the kids can’t fall. There are four different pathways up the lily pads to the top. Basically, the kids climb all over each other up, down, and sideways like a bunch of wild chimpanzees.

My four-year-old has been climbing for about an hour, and it’s almost dinner time, so I call him over to put his shoes on and leave. As I’m helping him, a woman walks up with her six- or seven-year-old child and speaks directly to my son, ignoring me.

Woman: “You stepped on his leg!”

Me: “What’s that?”

Woman: “Is this your child? He was climbing over my child!”

The other child is not visibly upset in any way and honestly looks more embarrassed than anything.

Me: “Okay?”

Woman: “He needs to apologize!”

Me: “Is your son hurt?”

Woman: “No, but your son needs to say he’s sorry. He was climbing and he stepped on my child!”

Me: *Blank stare* “I mean, all the kids are climbing and stepping all over each other. That’s why they don’t allow shoes, and if he’s not hurt, I’m not sure what the problem is.”

Woman: “Ugh!” *To her child* “Come on, these people are obviously not going to say they are sorry. Nice thing to teach your kid.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to make my child apologize for playing on a playground in the manner that it was designed to be played on. If you don’t want anyone to come into physical contact with your kid, maybe this isn’t the best place to bring him. Also, your kid is twice the size of mine.”

She storms off in a huff.

Son: “Mom, what was wrong with that lady?”

Me: “She doesn’t seem to understand how the playground works.”

He thinks about that for a minute.

Son: *Very seriously* “I think it’s because she can’t fit because she’s a grown-up. That’s why she doesn’t know how to climb there.”

I was amused at his attempt to figure out why on earth someone wouldn’t understand that a climbing playground does allow climbing.