Christmases Are Getting Hotter Every Year

(I work in a relatively well-known bakery that specialises in a certain [Hot Food], as well as cakes. It’s Christmas Eve, and a lady comes in to buy a few cakes as well as one of the [Hot Food] items. My coworker bags up the cakes, but leaves the [Hot Food] out next to the bag so it doesn’t melt the icing. Unsurprisingly, she leaves the item on the counter, which we then put back for her in case she returns. About half an hour later, we receive a call asking for our number, even though they called it, which I give out as they assume they’ve called the wrong branch. Not long after I hang up, the phone rings again and the following ensues:)

Me: “Hello, [Bakery Name and Branch], [My Name] speaking; how can I help?”

(I hear crashing and swearing in the background.)

Me: “Hello?”

Lady: *annoyed* “Is this [Other Branch] again?”

Me: “No, this is [Branch], how can I help?

Lady: *annoyed* “Well, I was just in your shop and I brought a couple of cakes and a [Hot Food] but when I got home, my [Hot Food] wasn’t in the bag.”

Me: “Ah, was it by chance [Hot Food]?”

Lady: *annoyed* “Yes, it was.”

Me: “It was left on the counter so we’ve put it back for you in case you came back for it.”

Lady: *annoyed and aggressive* “Well, I’m not coming back for it, so when is he going to deliver it to me?”

Me: *confused* “Deliver what to you?”

Lady: “My [Hot Food]. It was your coworker’s fault it was left, so he should deliver it to my house.”

(I pause for a second, wondering if she’s that fragmented from reality that she expects my coworker to actually deliver her food.)

Me: *politely but firmly* “I’m sorry but he can’t do that.”

Lady: *even more aggressive* “Well, you’re f****** useless, then, aren’t you?! He should have to deliver my hot food. It was his fault it was left behind. I know your district manager. I’m going to tell her how useless you all are and you’re all going to be fired!”

(This continues for about twenty seconds or so, with her making threats of our firing and calling us useless, as well as throwing in a fair few obscenities. I start to wonder if it would be worth hanging up until she finally nears the end of her rant.)

Lady: “Useless, the lot of you! You’ll all be fired!”

Me: *cheery voice* “Okay, Merry Christmas!”

(The lady hung up. I then called my manager to warn her of the complaint coming her way. She told me not to worry and well done for keeping my cool. After I got off the phone, I told my colleagues who just laughed, leading us to joke throughout the day about how f****** useless we all were.)