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Chopsticks: A Million Uses, But Only One Joke

, , , , | Right | July 4, 2019

(I’m a cashier, and I often put my hair up with chopsticks when I’m working. For some reason, customers always feel inclined to point this out to me or comment in some unimaginative way. This conversation, though, is new. A female customer, middle-aged, comes up to my till.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?

Customer: “I’m doing well, thanks. I like your chopsticks.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Customer: “You know, those things can be surprisingly useful. I used to be a nurse, and once I had to use chopsticks to discourage a patient who was a little too frisky.”

Me: “Really?!”

Customer: “Yep. He was getting a little too handsy, but after a few pokes he backed off.”

Me: “You know, not many people realize there might be more to this hairdo than just convenience. It’s really nice to hear something other than a wisecrack about ‘going out for Chinese food.’ I’ve had way too many of those.”

(The customer and I continue to chat as I finish ringing up her purchases. She pays and the next customer comes up to me.)

Next Customer: “Having Chinese food for dinner tonight?”

Question of the Week

What is the absolute most stupid thing you’ve heard a customer say?

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