Chipping Away At That Special Relationship

(I was in London for a few months visiting friends, and as such I decided to try and speak like a Londoner. We go to a pub one night and decide to order some food.)

Me: “I’ll have some plain chips, if that’s all right.”

(I know that in the UK, chips means French fries.)

Waitress: “No problem. And for you?”

(The waitress takes everyone else’s orders and comes back shortly. She plops down a bag of a popular brand of crisps in front of me.)

Me: “Um, I wanted chips.”

Waitress: “Well you got your chips, you stupid American! You should appreciate that we know your ‘lingo’ in this pub and know that you really meant crisps!”

Me: “No, I meant CHIPS as in FRIES. And since you’ve insulted me, I’ll be taking my leave. Guys?”

(My friends and I left without taking a bite of food, and didn’t bother paying. The waitress came running out after us, shouting that we needed to pay!)