Chip Off The Old Crazy Block

(I finish a job for a customer and give him his invoice.)

Me: “The amount will be [amount].”

(The customer pulls a card out of his wallet and hands it to me. I notice it’s got a chip, so I stick it into the chip reader.)

Customer: “That chip won’t work; I disabled it. I told them when I got the card I didn’t want any d***ed chip.”

(I look at the credit card reader, and sure enough, it tells me the chip isn’t working. I use the option to swipe the magnetic strip and the transaction goes through.)

Me: “Yeah, I think all new credit and debit cards are going to the chip rather than the magnetic strip.”

Customer: “It’s just so the government can track you. I told them I didn’t want to be tracked, so I didn’t want a card with a chip in it.”

Me: “Well, if they want, they can still track your purchases when you just use a card to buy something.”

Customer: “I didn’t mean tracking me when I buy something; the government is tracking people using the computer chip they put into credit cards. I disabled mine so they can’t track me. They do it with fake cell phone towers.”

Me: “Oooookay.”

(The customer signed the receipt and left. I stepped outside and looked up in the sky for black helicopters.)