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Children Of The Corn Muffin

, , , | Right | April 17, 2020

A grandmother and grandchildren come in for lunch. The grandchildren are around four and seven by my best guess. We get around to a nasty exchange where suggestions are asked for, only for them to announce that my taste is “s***.”

Guest: “I’ll have the chicken salad and the girls will split the turkey sliders.”

Me: “Absolutely. I just want to warn you, they are chipotle turkey sliders so they have a kick.”

Guest: “That’s fine.”

The sliders are CLEARLY marked spicy on the menu and are labeled as “CHIPOTLE turkey sliders.” I am not, however, even a little surprised at the reaction.

Guest: “These sliders are horrible. The girls can’t eat them. They have something in them. I don’t know, hot sauce maybe. We need something else, a corn muffin or something.”

Me: “Absolutely.”

I give her the corn muffin, which “the girls” basically crumble in their fingers and spin in circles, sprinkling it like fairy dust. Children and corn muffins are a match made in Hell. Then, we get to the bill, which includes the drinks, the chicken salad, and the corn muffin.

Guest: “Excuse me, the corn muffin is on this bill.”

Me: “Yes, I voided the turkey sliders but I do have to include the corn muffin.”

Guest: “Well, it’s coming out of your tip.”

Oh, for real? Like there was ever going to be a tip, anyway. Good grief. She left exact change. To the penny.