Children At That Inclemental Stage

A customer comes in and places a cable modem on the counter.

Customer: “This needs to be replaced. It’s within warranty.”

Me: “Let me just look that up for you.”

As I check the details and confirm that it is indeed still within warranty, I start to detect a strong odor.

Me: “What exactly is the reason for the replacement?”

Customer: “Accidental damage.”

Me: “I see.”

The odor is getting much stronger. I spy her young son in the buggy next to her.

Me: “Would it be… liquid damage?”

Customer: “I don’t see why that is relevant, but maybe.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid the warranty doesn’t cover… uh… that kind of liquid damage.”

Customer: *Admitting it, pointing at her son* “He’s a toddler! He’s learning where and where not to pee!”

Me: “I’m afraid we can’t issue a replacement for this reason.”

Customer: “You owe me a new modem because it was ‘inclement weather’!” I know that’s under the warranty! My son ‘precipitated’ on it!”

She did not get her free replacement.