Childhood Innocence, Adulthood Nonsense

(I work as the cashier of a photographer. A customer and her husband walk in, asking for the photos of their children.)

Me: *handing them the photos* “Here you go. You have nice-looking children, by the way.”

Customer: “Thanks, but…can’t you, you know, make my daughter prettier?”

Me: “Prettier?”

Customer: “Yes, I mean, look at her!”

Me: “Madam, I am sure these photographs have been retouched well by my coworkers. If you have any complaints about their work, I can–”

Customer: “NO! I want this to be remade!”

Me: “What exactly bothers you about these photos, anyway?”

Customer: “It’s her boobs. You guys should have made them far bigger!”

Me: “You want them…bigger?”

Customer: “Yes! How hard is that?”

Customer’s husband: *quietly* “Honey, you do realize she is 8 years old?”