Too Chicken To Enjoy The Shrimp

, , , , , , | Related | March 23, 2018

(My dad, sister, and I are carpooling on a road trip to a family gathering, when we have to make a stop at a large superstore. The delis at this chain do this new thing where you can get a to-go cup of popcorn chicken or popcorn shrimp. We are hungry, so we decide to do it. Normally, I jump at the chance to get shrimp, but for whatever reason, as soon as I see them, I am in the mood for chicken. I’m hesitating and trying to make a decision, and I notice that both my dad and my sister have grabbed a shrimp.)

Me: “Oh, perfect, because I’m really feeling the chicken. If you’re both getting shrimp, I can get the chicken and have a few pieces of your shrimp and you guys can have some chicken.”

(We are ahead of schedule, so we just sit in the parking lot for a few minutes to eat. My dad and I are in the front seats. My sister is in the back and doesn’t want to share and doesn’t want chicken. She’s not as generous with her food as the rest of the family, whereas everyone else will eat off each other’s plates without even thinking. We are now on the second time my dad and I have swapped cups.)

Dad: “You know, I think I like the chicken better.”

Me: “Same.” *as I pop another piece of shrimp in my mouth* “But, you know, shrimp.”

Dad: *starts laughing* “It sucks, but, you know, it’s shrimp, so it’s a good suck!” *trying to mock me*

Me: “Exactly.”

Dad: “EMBRACE THE SUCK!”

Sister: “You guys are morons.”

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