Chew On This For A While

(My boyfriend and I are eating dinner and watching the movie ‘Princess Mononoke.’ We’re at the scene where a female character spits chewed food into a male character’s mouth because he’s too weak to chew it himself.)

Boyfriend: “That’s gross!”

Me: *shrugs* “Well, he’s too weak to do it himself.”

(My boyfriend turns to me with his mouth open and full of chewed food.)

Boyfriend: “I have to save you!” *attempts to kiss me*

Me: “NO!”

Boyfriend: “But you’re dying!”

Me: “Then let me die!”