Checking In On Checking Out

(A customer has been using a self-checking machine. Half way through, she decides she doesn’t want a certain book and takes it back to the shelves. I’ve been watching her, so I know that she has actually checked the book out to herself before putting it back on the shelf.)

Me: “Excuse me! Can I just get that book from you, and I’ll check it back in? Don’t worry about shelving it; I’ll take care of that.”

Customer: “No, no. I don’t want this.”

Me: “I understand, but I just need to check it back in. Otherwise, it still appears as being out on your card.”

Customer: “But I don’t want it.”

Me: “I know. I understand. I’m not asking you to take it. I just want to check it in.”

Customer: “Are you daft? I. Don’t. Want. This. Book.”

Me: “Right. Look. If you don’t let me check this book in now, in four weeks time you are going to receive a letter informing you that this book is overdue.”

Customer: “No, I won’t. I haven’t borrowed it.”

Me: “Yes you have!”

Customer: “I don’t understand how someone as stupid as you got a job here. See those?” *points to security gates* “Those are what check the books out to me. If I don’t carry the book through there, they aren’t on my card. Get it?!”

Me: *giving up* “You’re too right, ma’am. Sorry to have bothered you.”

(She leaves with a smug look on her face. Then I pick up the book and carry it out to my desk.)

Coworker: “You aren’t going to check that in, are you?”

Me: “H*** no.”

(Sure enough, five weeks later the customer comes in ranting and raving about ‘never having borrowed that book’. I bring it out from my desk and put it in front of her.)

Me: *shrugs* “Is this the book?”

Customer: “F***ing b****.”

This story is part of the Library roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Funny Stories About Bookstore Employees And Their Terrible Customers

Read the next Library roundup story!

Read the Library roundup!