Check Who Owns The Loans

One of our regulars just closed her account in dramatic fashion a week ago, declaring loudly at me that she was never coming back to [Bank], ever. The phone rings.

Me: “[Bank], this is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Regular: “Hi, this is [Regular], and I need to apply for a personal loan.”

I stifle a giggle and take the application. It comes back approved.

Me: “Great news! It was approved.”

Regular: “Excellent! You’re the best, [My Name].”

I shake my head, remembering how much attitude she gave me last week.

Me: “So, all I need to know is who to make the check out to.”

Regular: “Can you just deposit it in my checking?”

Me: “Um… you closed your checking last week. Do you want to open a new one?”

Regular: “Huh?”

Me: *Louder* “You closed your checking last week, [Regular].”

Regular: “Why would I do that? Oh, well. Put it in my savings, then.”

Me: “You closed that, too.”

Regular: “I did not! I opened all new accounts last week with you guys.”

I start to realize where this is going.

Me: “Which bank do you think you’re calling?”

Regular: “[Competitor]. Why?”

I briefly mute the phone to hide the laughter that flies out of my mouth.

Me: *Loudly and slowly* “This is [Bank].”

Regular: “No, no, no.”

Me: “Yes, I’m pretty sure it is.”

Regular: “NO! I called [Our Phone Number] and… oh.”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

Regular: *Meekly* “Please make the check out to [Competitor]. I’ll be by later to get it.”

Considering my greeting always starts with our bank name, I’m not sure how it got that far.