Check This Out

(I’m ringing up an elderly woman. Our card readers have a glitch where half the time they’ll reject a card on the first try, even though there’s nothing wrong with the card. They almost always accept it on the second try, though, and most customers don’t mind terribly when it happens to them. This woman is different.)

Customer: “Why do I have to put my card in again? Didn’t it go through?”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s a glitch in our systems, not your card. Please insert your card again.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to! What if I get charged twice?!”

Me: “I promise you won’t be; this happens a lot. You can put your card back in, here.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that!”

(She gets out her checkbook and starts writing a check, of all things. Despairing, keeping a neutral face, I wait as it takes an entire forty-five seconds for her to write this thing out, and another twenty seconds for the ancient check reader attached to the receipt printer to decide it approves.)

Me: *trying to put as much sickly sweetness into it as possible, handing her the receipt* “Have a nice day.”