Check The Checks But Cash The Cash!

I’m a bank teller. The local school district banks at our location, and they always have large amounts of checks to drop off for deposit. One such deposit has just arrived. The lady dropping it off has her child with her, who is asking for candy. I turn around, grab our candy basket, and hold it out to the kid. The kid grabs a lollipop, and they go on their way.

I get to work, totaling up the deposit, and realize that it’s off by several hundred dollars. I add up the checks two more times and get the same amount each time. The branch manager is walking by as I’m trying to figure it out.

Manager: “Need my help?”

Me: “Yes, please. The deposit is off [amount] and I’m stuck. I’ve added the checks up three times.”

She comes behind the line and adds them up. She frowns, picks up the deposit slip, and studies it.

Manager: “Okay, so the check total is correct. Wait! I think I found it. Was there any cash with this deposit?”

Me: “No, just checks.”

Manager: “They have [amount over $500] in cash noted on this deposit.”

I grab the deposit slip and stare at it. Sure enough, in tiny print, it’s indicated on the “cash” line.

Me: “All she gave me was a pile of checks. No cash.”

Manager: “You’re sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Manager: “Hmm. I’m gonna do some digging. Don’t panic.”

She heads back to her desk. Meanwhile, I am panicking, because missing that much cash is a fireable offense. Several minutes later, she calls me over. She looks furious.

Manager: “I need you to watch this and tell me exactly what you see.”

She pulls up the camera feed from my station. In the video, the school district representative takes out a pile of cash and a pile of checks but only hands me the checks. She sets the cash on the counter. When I turn away to grab the candy basket, she sweeps the cash back into her purse.

Manager: “Well?”

Me: “Looks like that cash sprouted legs.”

Manager: “Have a seat. I emailed [Fraud Department Manager] and now I’m going to call the district office.”

She puts the phone on speaker and dials the person in charge of bank deposits.

Manager: “Yes, hi. My name is [Manager] and I’m the manager of [Branch]. It looks like your deposit is missing the cash portion today. I was wondering if maybe your representative forgot to give it to my teller.”

District: “Nope, she came back with an empty bank bag. Maybe you should check your teller.”

Excuse me?! I open my mouth to say something, but she holds up a hand.

Manager: “Here’s the deal. I reviewed the security footage and it looks like a stack of cash vanished into your rep’s purse when my teller turned around. Our fraud department is aware and ready to speak to you if there’s any doubt.”

Silence on the line.

Manager: “Or would you prefer [City] police?”

District: “That’s not necessary. She’ll be back within the hour.”

They hang up.

Manager: “Mind if I join you behind the teller line?”

About fifteen minutes later, the representative from earlier breezes back in with a huge smile on her face. She comes to my window and plops the cash on the counter. The manager appears behind me with her arms folded and a ferocious scowl.

Representative: “Hi! Silly me, can’t believe I missed this!”

Me: “I saw the security footage.”

Representative: “Um… well, you see—”

Me: “Nope. You tried to pin this on me. There’s no excuse.”

She turns bright red.

Representative: “Can I go now?”

Me: “No. I’d like you to wait until I count this.”

Manager: “And then I’m going to have our vault teller verify it. We’d hate for any to go missing.”

Representative: *Mumbles* “That’s fair.”

It is correct, and the representative shuffles out. The branch manager nods in satisfaction.

Manager: “Not at my branch, lady.”