Check Out This New Heart-Stopping Deal!

(I work security at a large shopping mall. One day, a customer in one of the stores suffers a heart attack and his heart stops. They have me at the door to keep flow of traffic moving and keep the door clear while we attempt to resuscitate him. [We succeed and he makes a full recovery.] Inside the store, there are approximately four uniformed security officers, two police officers, two firefighters, and two paramedics. There is also a large gurney in plain sight in the center aisle. An older couple walks up to the door and looks inside.)

Woman: “Oh, look, honey, they must be demonstrating a new product!”