Charged Up On Idiocy

(I’m at work at a local, small, hotel with an excellent housekeeping staff. It is between 10-11 pm at the end of my shift. A guest who had been staying at the hotel all week calls me on Thanksgiving and is immediately angry.)

Guest: “I need to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I’m sorry, she is not here at the moment. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Guest: “You can help me by finding the person who stole my phone charger.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that your charger has been misplaced, sir. If by any chance our housekeeping staff picked it up by accident, it would be in our lost and found and also it would be documented. Do you mind being on hold while I check those possibilities?”

Guest: “It hasn’t been misplaced. It was stolen. And I need you to find it.”

Me: “Yes, sir. Just hold on and I will go check every place I know of to check.”

(I come back two minutes later.)

Me: “Thank you for holding, sir. I am sorry to inform you that I looked in all of the possible places it would be and unfortunately was not able to find your charger.”

Guest: “Well, this is unacceptable! One of your housekeepers stole my expensive phone charger and are probably using it right now. No wonder you can’t find it!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you, our housekeeping staff is very trustworthy and would have no motivation to risk their job for a phone charger.”

Guest: “I want this phone call documented and I want your manager to call me first thing in the morning and if I don’t hear from him before I leave for work, we are going to have a problem, missy.”

Me: “My manager is a woman, and she will call you as soon as she gets time.”

Guest: “D*** right HE will! And you better make sure nothing like this ever happens again!”

Me: “Goodnight, sir.”

(That morning we get a call from the same man who is unapologetic and seems to be in a hurry.)

Me: “Front desk. How may I help you?”

Guest: “Yeah, I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I’m sorry, she isn’t available at the moment; may I take a message?”

Guest: “Yes, the woman I spoke to last night was very rude and I’d like to complain about her and I want her fired and my room rate paid for!”

Me: “Sir, what was she rude to you about?”

Guest: “She told me that housekeeping would not have taken my phone charger when I know for a FACT that they did!”

Me: “Well, no phone charger has been documented. Are you sure—”

Guest: *interrupts me* “FOUND IT! I still want her FIRED!”