Certified Or Certifiable?

(A few weeks ago I accidentally stabbed myself in the hand, between my thumb and index finger. Though it has healed, I have a scar, and it still hurts quite a bit if I hit it on anything. A customer has purchased a battery operated device. Store policy is to put batteries in it to make sure it works before they leave. I go to put batteries in but the cap slips out of my hand and manages to hit my scar.)

Me: “Ouch!”

Customer: “What happened?”

Me: “Oh, sorry. The cap hit the scar on my hand.”

Customer: “How’d you get it?”

Me: “Oh, I was at my other job, when I accidentally stabbed my hand. It healed pretty quickly with no infection. So, it’s all better now.”

Customer: “Why would you do that?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Why would you stab yourself?”

Me: *joking* “Well, it just seemed like such a good idea at the time.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t do that! You should see someone about your issues right away!”

Me: “Um, it was an accident. I didn’t do it on purpose.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t lie to cover up your problems. Here take my card. I’m certified for these kinds of things.”

Me: “No, thank you. It really was an accident. I was just joking earlier.”

Customer: “Nonsense! I demand that we set up an appointment. I’m going to help you. I’m certified for these kinds of things.”

Me: *sigh* “….so you said.”

Customer: “Good. Now, how does meeting me at [address] at 2 pm tomorrow sound?”

(I am defeated, and am just trying to get this customer out of my store.)

Me: “Sure, sounds just fine.”

Customer: “Okay! See you then. And don’t worry, we will help you with your issues. Just don’t do anything too bad before we meet again!”

(The customer walks off smiling. I never went to that meeting, although I did give my boss a heads up if a crazy woman came asking for me.)