Celebrate When You’ve Actually Done Something

One of my younger coworkers is in sales. He’s a decent guy but has a massive ego, to the point of being delusional. He has just “landed a massive sale for the company.” I know that the senior guy did all the work and [Junior Sales Guy] just got the signature to something they already agreed to.

[Junior Sales Guy] wants to throw this big party that night. Because it’s a Wednesday, no one wants to go, so he starts offering free drinks, etc. I get guilt-tripped into going, so I plan to have a drink then sneak off.

I turn up about half an hour late and find a couple of the guys from work, but not [Junior Sales Guy]. I stick around for an hour, but with work the next day and the star of the show not being there, we all head home.

The next morning, the senior sales guy comes around, looking frantic.

Senior Sales: “Has anyone seen [Junior Sales Guy]?”

Coworker: “No, I hear he was out last night.”

Me: “I hope he’s all right; he never made it to the pub.”

Coworker: *Laughs* “You didn’t hear? He was already so drunk he couldn’t get in! He went off to some house party.”

Senior Sales: *Swearing* “That idiot. I let him do a bit of customer work and it goes straight to his head. He knows we have a meeting with [Client]. I need those files!”

A few loud phone calls and about an hour later, a taxi pulled up, and [Junior Sales Guy] staggered out looking sorry for himself. He managed to get the documents needed, and by the noise coming from the office, the chip on his shoulder was firmly addressed.