Ceiling Cat Is Watching You

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi there, my name is Charlie—”

Customer: “Charlie’s a boy’s name! You’re a girl!”

Me: “Yes, sir. Anyway, I’m calling from [company name] to talk to you about the new security system we’re offering.”

Customer: “I don’t need it.”

Me: “Are you sure? It’s really nifty and it has all sorts of special features if you’d allow me to describe them.”

Customer: “Nah. I’ve got my girlfriend’s cat.”

Me: “A… cat, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah. Any time anyone comes in the house, he won’t leave them alone until they feed him. He’s really cute, but it’s the most irritating thing ever. They’d get annoyed and leave!”