CE-Oh No!

, , , , | Right | June 24, 2019

(My father is the CEO of a high-end food store chain. He is known to fly around the country working as a bagboy in certain stores. Today he is at a store near headquarters while my mom and I are shopping.)

Customer: “No, no, no! You are doing it all wrong! You do not bag like that!”

Father: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You idiot, you are a horrible bagboy. You nearly broke the eggs I just bought. I ought to have you fired! I am the assistant manager—“ *while showing his badge* “—at [Store several miles away] and I am going to complain to your manager.”

Father: Bu—“

Customer: “At my store, my employees all work their hardest and if they do one thing wrong, they get their paycheck cut in half. You idiots should consider that!”

Father: “Is that so? I should report you.”

Customer: “What are you going to do? Complain to the corporate scumbags? They won’t care what you say. I am better than you and all bagboys at your store.”

Father: “Well, I can proudly say that the corporate office does, in fact, care about the little guys like bagboys. Want to know how I know?” *shows the customer his badge, which clearly states “CEO”*

Customer: “Uh, sir, uh. I was… uh… just kidding.”

Father: “Oh, really? No, don’t think so. Go to [His Store] and tell [Manager] you just got fired by a ‘corporate scumbag.’”

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