Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4

(Our English teacher is about five months pregnant and beginning to show. One of the loudmouth jerks in our class actually raises his hand for once.)

Teacher: “Yes, [Student]?”

Student: “So, like, why do some lady’s belly buttons stick out when they’ve got a bun in the oven?”

(Cue general embarrassed laughter from class.)

Teacher: “Okay, that has nothing to do with what we’re discussing right now, so let’s get back on topic. Okay?”

Student: “But, like, does it mean the baby’s done or something?”

(Cue more giggling.)

Teacher: “No, [Student]. Women are not turkeys. We don’t have little pop-up timers that tell us it’s time to have the baby.”

(Cue uncontrollable laughter.)

Student: “Dude, that’d be kickin’, though. It’s like ‘Bam! Time’s up!’”

(We didn’t get much else done that period.)