Caught Between A Wok And A Hard Place

I work at a food truck, and our menu is pretty limited.

Customer: “What do you have that’s gluten-free?”

Me: “Uh, not much. We just have the one wok back here, so we can’t guarantee a lack of contamination, plus most of our base sauces are soy sauce, and we don’t have gluten-free noodles, so I don’t think we can help you.”

Customer: “But I’m a celiac.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I’m a celiac! It’s against the law for you not to have a gluten-free menu! I’m protected under the American Disabilities Act!”

Me: “That’s… not true.”

Customer: “Yes, it is! You need to have something on the menu for me, or I’ll sue you!”

Me: “Okay, I can offer you a Coke or a Diet Coke?”