Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

Throw In An Extra Humble Pie

| USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am at a bakery getting dessert for Thanksgiving. I overhear a man and a worker talking about his order.)

Man: “My wife called three weeks ago and ordered food and called today to make sure it was ready, and you people don’t have it! It’s under John and Liz! I can’t believe you god**** people!”

Worker: “I’m looking for pies under the name John and Liz but I’m not finding anything. I’m sorry but your wife must have called somewhere else.”

Man: “No! We always get dessert here and my wife didn’t call another place!”

(This goes on for what feels like hours. I decide to get some treats for myself because hearing this guy is making my head spin!)

Man: “Two pecan pies under John and Liz! Why can’t you people get it right!? My wife called TODAY and you people said it was ready!”

Worker: “Are you sure it’s not under any other name?”

Man: “I’m positive! Are you calling me a liar?!”

Worker: “Of course not, sir. I found one ready box with pecan pies and they are the only ones ready but the name isn’t John and Liz.”

Man: “Well, what’s the name then god-d***-it!?”

Worker: “Johnson.”

(The man goes white for a second while another worker is preparing my treats.)

Man: “U-uh, yes, that’s my last name.”

(He throws money on the table and runs away while the other worker gives me my food and receipt.)

Me: “Oh, it says that you didn’t put the treats on here.”

Worker #2: “It’s on the house after listening to that for 10-20 minutes!”

Don’t Ask Where The Chicken Came From

| SC, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I work at a new Chinese restaurant in a small town; a customer is looking over a menu.)

Customer: “What’s human chicken?”

(Cue laughter:)

Customer: “Oh! Hunan chicken! I mean Hunan chicken!”

Vis A Visa

| Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am the tired and barely attentive customer in this story.)

Employee: “How can I help you today?”

(I proceed to order my coffee.)

Employee: “And what name should I put on the cup?”

Me: “Oh. Uh, Visa.”

(The employee dutifully writes Visa on the cup without another question.)

Employee: “And how will you be paying today?”

Me: “Oh… Yeah… Visa.”

(Apparently I needed that coffee more badly than I realized.)