Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

Not Quite A Toast To Intelligence

| Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(Two employees who speak minimal English seemed to be having difficulty dealing with a customer. I go over to see if I can help.)

Me: “Hi. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for uncooked toast.”

Me: “You mean bread? Our bakery de—”

Customer: “No. uncooked toast.”

(I am momentarily stumped. Then…)

Me: “Can you describe uncooked toast?”

Customer: “Yeah, It comes in slices, and you can put four of them in the toaster.”

Me: “Yeah, I think we have that…”

(I show him a package of sliced bread.)

Me: “Is this what you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Yes, finally.”

(He leaves. I turn to coworkers.)

Me: “Sliced bread. He wanted sliced bread…”

Failed The Name Game, Part 2

| CO, USA | Bizarre, Funny Names

(My company handles hardware and software issues for several well known fast food chains. We get a ticket that I need to call the store on to confirm some information.)

Me: “Hello, I’m with [Company], your hardware company. Is the manager on duty available?”

Customer: “Umm, no [Manager] left and [Other Manager] left.”

Me: “Okay. What is your name?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Let me check.”

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Failed The Name Game

Gave Them A Sporting Chance

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Funny Names

(I work at a shop that sells sports memorabilia near Pittsburgh, and I am a huge sports fan. A teenage girl walks in with her friend.)

Customer: “I’m looking for a birthday present for my dad and I was thinking about getting him a Steelers jersey”

Me: “Okay, did you have a particular player in mind?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering if you have any O’Harris jerseys.”

Me: “I’m sorry, who?”

Customer: “O’Harris…” *changes to a patronizing tone* “You know, Frank O’Harris…”

Me: *trying not to laugh, I speak clearly to help her realize her mistake* “Oh, Franco Harris.”

Customer: “Yes, that one.”

(Still smiling to myself I start looking through our vintage jerseys.)

Customer: *to friend in a carrying whisper* “She must not be a sports fan. I wonder how she got a job here…”

Throw In An Extra Humble Pie

| USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am at a bakery getting dessert for Thanksgiving. I overhear a man and a worker talking about his order.)

Man: “My wife called three weeks ago and ordered food and called today to make sure it was ready, and you people don’t have it! It’s under John and Liz! I can’t believe you god**** people!”

Worker: “I’m looking for pies under the name John and Liz but I’m not finding anything. I’m sorry but your wife must have called somewhere else.”

Man: “No! We always get dessert here and my wife didn’t call another place!”

(This goes on for what feels like hours. I decide to get some treats for myself because hearing this guy is making my head spin!)

Man: “Two pecan pies under John and Liz! Why can’t you people get it right!? My wife called TODAY and you people said it was ready!”

Worker: “Are you sure it’s not under any other name?”

Man: “I’m positive! Are you calling me a liar?!”

Worker: “Of course not, sir. I found one ready box with pecan pies and they are the only ones ready but the name isn’t John and Liz.”

Man: “Well, what’s the name then god-d***-it!?”

Worker: “Johnson.”

(The man goes white for a second while another worker is preparing my treats.)

Man: “U-uh, yes, that’s my last name.”

(He throws money on the table and runs away while the other worker gives me my food and receipt.)

Me: “Oh, it says that you didn’t put the treats on here.”

Worker #2: “It’s on the house after listening to that for 10-20 minutes!”

Don’t Ask Where The Chicken Came From

| SC, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I work at a new Chinese restaurant in a small town; a customer is looking over a menu.)

Customer: “What’s human chicken?”

(Cue laughter:)

Customer: “Oh! Hunan chicken! I mean Hunan chicken!”

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