Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

Getting To The Real Sauce Of The Problem

| FL, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular

(I work at a restaurant known for our fish and chips, which is made with codfish. I am serving a family of five and taking a teenage boy’s order.)

Me: “And what would you like?”

Customer: “The fish and chips. But I don’t want any cod with it.”

Me:” Excuse me?”

Customer: “No cod.”

(I’m really confused at this point and thinking the kid just wants a pile of fried batter.)

Me: “So, uhm, how exactly did you want it?”

Customer’s Dad: “You know cod is the fish, right?”

Customer: “You mean it’s not the sauce that comes with it?”

Customer’s Dad: “No, that’s tartar sauce.”

Customer: “Oh! No tartar sauce, please.”

Your Definition Is Not Current

| Fort Collins, CO, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(We have an item called the “Chicken Salad;” however, it doesn’t specify what the ingredients of the chicken salad are. I overhear this exchange from my manager and a customer…)

Customer: “Does your chicken salad have bugs in it?”

Manager: *shocked* “What?”

Customer: “Bugs. Does your chicken salad have bugs in it?”

Manager: “What? No! OF course not; it doesn’t have bugs.”

Customer: “Oh, wait! I meant raisins!”

Manager: “Oh! Yes, it has raisins in it.”

Double-Oh-Seven Different Ways To Say It

| NSW, Australia | Funny Names, Movies & TV

(I’m working as a cashier, selling tickets, and have a run of customers that seem to encounter issues with the movie title.)

Customer #1: “Hi, I’d like a ticket for the James Bond movie.”

Me: “All right, you’ll be in cinema two for Spectre tonight.”

Customer #1: “No! I wanted James Bond!”

(Later.)

Customer #2: “Hi, I’d like two tickets to Skyfall tonight.”

Me: “No worries, you’ll be in cinema two for Spectre tonight””

Customer #2: “Oh! I called it the wrong thing!” *begins laughing hysterically*

Me: “It’s okay! I knew what you meant.”

Customer #3: “Hi, I’d like a ticket to Spectra.”

Me: “Close enough!”

Only Have Yourself To Name

| Manila, Philippines | Bad Behavior, Funny Names, Language & Words, Popular

(I work as a customer service representative for an American credit card company. Most of our callers are irate since I’m assigned in the billing inquiry department. A call comes in and the client’s account automatically pops up and as part of our security procedure, the caller’s name should be captured over the recorded line. After my opening spiel, I ask for the caller’s name.)

Me: “For added security, may I please have your full name?”

Caller: *sounds frustrated and sarcastic* “It’s [Full Name], b****!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “I said, it’s [Full Name], b****!”

Me: “Oh. So, how can I help you today then, Ms. B****?”

Caller: “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME? YOU JUST CALLED ME B****?!”

Me: “Oh. I’m sorry. I was asking for your name. You said your name is [Full Name] B****. I thought it’s your last name.”

Caller: “Transfer me to your manager now!”

Me: “With pleasure!”

Lucy On The Ground, With Customers

| Dorset, England, UK | Funny Names, Musical Mayhem

Customer: “So, what’s your name then, darling?”

Me: “Lucy.”

Customer: “Like Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds?”

Me: *smiling* “Why, yes, that’s right.”

Customer: “That songs about LSD, isn’t it? Were your parents on hard drugs?”

Me: “Well, thank you for your order. Goodbye.”

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