Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

Order Number One

| Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I used to work at a cold cut sub shop, and the names of the sandwiches are pretty straightforward — but we usually, for whatever reason, get weird variations of said sandwich names, even if the staff says it correctly. This happened more than I’d like to admit.)

Me: *as cashier* “Hello! How are you? What can I get you today?”

Older Woman: *looks at menu* “Hmmm…I’d like the number one, the Pee Pee, please.”

Me: *eyebrows slowly raise, cheerful smile keeping me from laughing* “Ah, the number one, Pepe.” *pronounced PEH-PAY* “All righty, anything else?”

Older Woman: “Yes, the Pee Pee, that’ll be all. Mmmm. That just sounds so good…”

They’ve Left The Reservation

| Chicago, IL, USA | Funny Names, Popular

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]; how may I assist you?”

Customer: “I want a reservation for [date] at [time].”

Me: *pulls up date on reservation system* “Fantastic! We do have availability—”

Customer: *cutting me off* “Great. I will see you then.”

Me: “Ma’am, before you go, I’m going to need a little bit of information to book a reservation for you.”

Customer: “Yeah. What do you need?”

Me: “Well, first I’m going to need your name…”

(This happens almost daily.)

A Big Mayo No No, Part 3

, | MA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(A customer with a thick accent approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Do you have margarine-aise?”

Me: “Margarine?”

Customer: “No, margarine-aise.”

Me: “Mayonnaise?”

Customer: “No, margarine-aise.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what is it you want?”

Customer: *now angry* “You no listen? Margarine-aise.”

Me: “Mayonnaise?”

Customer: “Yes.”

A Big Mayo No No, Part 2
A Big Mayo No No

A Junior Burger Becomes A Big Problem

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular

(I work at a fast food joint where I mostly operate drive-thru. As any other restaurant, we have a large menu based on the outside for customers to see.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Get me two hamburgers.”

Me: “All right, sir, would you like our quarter pound size burger, or the junior sized burger?”

Customer: “…I don’t know your lingo, sir. I guess the quarter pound single, then. Two of them.”

Me: “All right, sir, that will be seven dollars and ten cents at your second window.”

Customer: “Whoa, now. That’s way too much! That isn’t what I wanted!”

Me: “So you would like the two junior hamburgers instead?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s what I want! Jesus.”

Me: “All right, that will be two dollars and fifteen cents. Thank you.”

(The customer pulls around:)

Me: “Two dollars and fifteen cents, please.”

Customer: “I don’t know your lingo here. You guys really need to put up a sign or something out there that tells me exactly what you have and the difference between each entry.”

Me: “With all due respect, sir, we have a large menu just behind the speaker that does just that.”

Customer: *mouth drops open and skin turns red* “Tell your manager that you’re gonna be looking for a new job soon!” *angrily drives away*

Doesn’t Know What Dang Beef She Wants

| Australia | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I work at a little Southeast Asian curry take-away place, and we have ten different curries, and three sizes. Among that we have rendang and Penang beef.)

Customer: “I’ll have the beef.”

Me: “Which one?”

Customer: *says something like pedang, redang, renang, rendang, and pointing at the opposite one they wanted*

Me: “Okay, cool. Which size?”

Customer: “Meal size.”

Me: “…!!!”

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