Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

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Only Have Yourself To Name

| Manila, Philippines | Bad Behavior, Funny Names, Language & Words, Popular

(I work as a customer service representative for an American credit card company. Most of our callers are irate since I’m assigned in the billing inquiry department. A call comes in and the client’s account automatically pops up and as part of our security procedure, the caller’s name should be captured over the recorded line. After my opening spiel, I ask for the caller’s name.)

Me: “For added security, may I please have your full name?”

Caller: *sounds frustrated and sarcastic* “It’s [Full Name], b****!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “I said, it’s [Full Name], b****!”

Me: “Oh. So, how can I help you today then, Ms. B****?”

Caller: “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME? YOU JUST CALLED ME B****?!”

Me: “Oh. I’m sorry. I was asking for your name. You said your name is [Full Name] B****. I thought it’s your last name.”

Caller: “Transfer me to your manager now!”

Me: “With pleasure!”

Lucy On The Ground, With Customers

| Dorset, England, UK | Funny Names, Musical Mayhem

Customer: “So, what’s your name then, darling?”

Me: “Lucy.”

Customer: “Like Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds?”

Me: *smiling* “Why, yes, that’s right.”

Customer: “That songs about LSD, isn’t it? Were your parents on hard drugs?”

Me: “Well, thank you for your order. Goodbye.”

A Little Nuts About The Naming

| North Attleboro, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular

Me: *to an elderly customer* “Did you find everything you were looking for, ma’am?”

Customer: “No, you don’t carry the peanuts in the can anymore.”

Me: “Actually, we do still carry peanuts right over here.”

(I then walk her to the correct fixture, pick up the can of peanuts we sell, and hold it out to her. She makes a face at me, then pushes by my outstretched hand and takes something else off the fixture.)

Customer: “Not those ones! These are the peanuts I wanted.”

Me: “…Ma’am, those are cashews.”

Customer: “Yes, but I call them peanuts. You guys are always out of them!”

Me: “Well, if you’re asking for peanuts, we’re not looking for cashews when we check the stockroom…”