Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

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Edith You Are, Or You Aren’t

| PA, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Trigger Story

(I work in a second-hand bookstore where we purchase items from customers. I’m currently working at the buy counter where I have two separate customers, both females. An older lady brought her items in a bag (“Edith”) while the second middle-aged lady (“Anne”) brought hers in a box. They shop the store while I look through their items and I page them over the PA system once their offer is ready.)

Me: “Edith, your offer is ready at the buy counter. Edith.”

Customer: *approaches* “Hello.”

Me: *recognizes her as one of the two ladies, but I am terrible at remembering faces* “Hi! Miss Edith?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “All right, your offer is [amount] today.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

Me: “Okay, so I’ll just have you sign this piece of paper once it prints, Miss Edith—”

Customer: “Can I have my box back?”

Me: *a little alarmed, as I’m currently working on the box* “Oh, wait, so these books are yours?” *points to the books from the box*

Customer: Yes.

Me: “Ah, sorry, Miss Edith! It seems that I had mixed you two up! Give me a moment to look you up in the system so I can re-enter your correct offer.” *does so* “Good thing you’re the only ‘Edith,’ otherwise this would be a long search!” *quickly finishes the buy* “Okay, your correct offer is [different amount].”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: *hands her the slip of paper to sign* “Okay, please sign here—”

Customer: *looks at slip* “This isn’t my name.”

Me: “…Oh. Well, I had paged for ‘Edith’ before and asked you if you were ‘Edith.'”

Customer: “It sounded like ‘Ann.'”

Me: *thinking* “IN WHAT UNIVERSE?!”

 

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

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That’s A Wrap!

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Language & Words

(I work part-time at a popular national chain with quite a few franchises scattered about. We have a variety of meals which you can have made in either a wrap or a roll, for which we specifically ask the customer for when they order. From this particular customer’s actions, I would guess English is not their first language.)

Customer: *holding what appears to be a chicken schnitzel roll* Excuse me! I ordered a roll and you have given me a burger!

(I get my manager over because customer complaints have to be directed to them.)

Manager: “What you have there is a roll; we only serve wraps and rolls; that is the latter.”

Customer: “But this is not a roll! This is a burger! See, it’s made in a bun, not rolled up!” *shows us what it looks like in detail in case we didn’t understand*

Manager: “That isn’t a burger. It is a roll. It is similar but if you asked for a roll and not a wrap then that is what they will make for you.”

Customer: “Don’t pretend like I don’t know how rolls work. See up there?” *points to a wrap on menu* “THAT is what I want, d*** it. I want it ROLLED UP like that!”

Manager: “So, what you want is a wrap…?”

Customer: “NO, I want a ROLL for th—” *the penny drops* “Oh… s***.”

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A Link To Past Sales

| OH, USA | Funny Names, Geeks Rule, Popular

(I am working the pay window of the drive-thru. The terminal we run credit cards in displays the name on the card when a card is run. In the middle of a transaction for a customer, I notice something peculiar about his name.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I almost laughed at your name.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Do you know the Legend of Zelda series?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Your last name is similar to ‘Ganondorf,’ the main villain.”

(The customer lets out a loud laugh similar to the one Ganondorf makes in one of the games.)

Customer: “At last we meet, Link!”

(He took his credit card and receipt before driving off.)