Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

In Macedonia They Just Call Them Nuts

| VA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ll just have three cookies, please.”

Me: “All right, and what kind would you like?”

Customer: *gesturing in the general direction of the cookie display* “Oh, you know, one of those ones.”

Me: “So would you like chocolate chip, sugar, oatmeal…?”

Customer: “I want one of the Macedonian cookies!”

Me: “…umm, what?”

Customer: “Yeah, the light-colored ones with the white chocolate and nuts and stuff.”

Me: “You mean the macadamia nut cookies?”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever it’s called.”

By George!

| BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Funny Names

(I work for the phone company as an operator and get this directory assistance call one day.)

Customer: “I would like a number for George [Last Name] in [Town].”

Me: “Under [Last Name] in [Town], I don’t have a listing for a George, but I do have a listing for an Albert [Last Name] and a Brian [Last Name].”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take George’s number.”

Me: “I don’t have a listing for a George but I do have listings for Albert and Brian.”

Customer: “Then give me George’s number!”

Me: “Okay, which George would you like, Albert or Brian?”

Customer: “…”

I’ll Take It Black Death

| Columbus, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Puns

(I am the customer in this story. I walk into my local coffee shop this morning and notice that one of the menu TVs is showing a Blue Screen of Death.)

Me: “I wasn’t expecting to see that on your menu.”

Barista: “Yeah, we have a new Blue Screen of Death Latte. It tastes like a burnt out computer.”

Me: “Mmm… Silicon Dioxide.”

Barista: “Yummy.”

Monstrous Pronunciation

, | FL, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

Customer: “And can I have a pound of the monster cheese?”

Me: “Excuse me? What kind of cheese?”

Customer: “The monster cheese. This one.”

Me: “Oh, you mean the muenster.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, but, well, you know, I don’t know how to pronounce that. It’s too hard. Is it ‘manster’? ‘Minster’?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s ‘muenster.’”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t know how to pronounce it. Is it ‘mo-an-ster’? ‘Moon-ster’?”

Me: “Ma’am, I just told you how to pronounce it. It’s ‘muenster.’”

Customer: “Yeah, but it’s too hard to pronounce! Is it ‘mon-aster’? Is it ‘minister’?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s ‘muenster.’”

Customer: “Well, however you say it, I want a pound.”

Luciliacaca

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Funny Names

(A homeowner has stopped me, the supervisor, to ask about one of my coworkers, who I’ll call Lucille-Anne.)

Homeowner: *trumping* “I keep telling Jessica to put the materials in the other room, but she’s not listening. Can you talk to her?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Who’s Jessica?”

Homeowner: “That woman there.” *pointing at my coworker*

Me: “Her name is not Jessica, and I’ll go tell her for you now.”

Homeowner: “How am I supposed to know her name is not Jessica? I keep calling ‘Jessica’ and she won’t answer me! What’s her name?”

Me: “L.A. or Lucy.”

Homeowner: “Is that the same name?”

Me: “No, but she answers to either. Her name is actually Lucille-Anne but she won’t answer to that. Just call her L.A. or Lucy.”

Homeowner: *happy again* “Okay, I’ll go tell her myself.” *wanders off calling* “Lucica! Lucica!”

Me: *calling after her* “That’s still not her name!”

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