Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

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Abusing Our Good Name

| WI, USA | Funny Names, Technology

(Our tech support team works through phone, email, and chat. It is common for customers to contact us through one channel and follow up on another. I get a customer on the phone.)

Customer: “I already worked with someone in chat about this issue, but it’s still not working.”

Me: “All right, let me get the chat log called up so I see what you’ve done so far. Okay, so it looks like you told [Coworker] that the problem was [problem], and she recommended you try [basic troubleshooting]. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yeah… wait, [Coworker]?”

Me: “Yes, you were chatting with [Coworker].”

Customer: “Really? [Coworker]?”

Me: “I have the chat log right here…”

Customer: “But I didn’t realize you actually had names!”

Me: “…um.”

Customer: “Oh! Sorry! That came out wrong. I meant I didn’t realize you used your real names in chat.”

Me: “Whew! Yeah, her name is actually [Coworker] and she’s pretty good with this stuff. Since those first steps didn’t work, though, let’s try these steps instead…”

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Made A Rocky Start

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

Customer: “I’d like to order a caramel frappuccino, on the rocks.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “A frappuccino, on the rocks. Unblended. You have that, right?”

Me: “I think the closest equivalent would probably be a caramel-flavored iced latte.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! I’ll take one of those, then! I didn’t realize they had a different name.”

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Sweetly Blessed

| Hollywood, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(I work at Hogsmeade in the Universal Studios Hollywood.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am! Welcome to [Candy Shop]. Did you find everything you like?

Guest: “Do you have those glass candy feather pens? My daughter loves these things.”

Me: “You mean the sugar quills, right?”

Guest: “Oh, bless your heart. I want one of those candy feather pens. So, do you have those?”

Me: *takes a small breath of air, smiles, and walks from behind the counter and gets a sugar quill from a stand* “You mean this right?”

Guest: “Oh, bless your heart. Yes, that is what it looks like!”

(I ring her up and she looks at her receipt after I bag everything up for her.)

Guest: “Honey, you gave me the wrong item. That is not a candy feather pen.”

Me: “Ma’am, quills are feathered pens. They aren’t anything else. Please have a Magical day and… bless your heart.”

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You Can’t Be Siri-ous

| Eilat, Israel | Funny Names, Hotels & Lodging, Technology

(I work reception. One day a guest awaiting his turn stares at me and my name tag with a bemused look on his face.)

Guest: “Is your name really “’Siri’?!”

Me: *smiling* “Only for the last 60 years.”

Guest: “The email confirmation was so polite… I was SURE it was the program!”

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Flowers That Break The Internet

| Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names

Middle-School-Aged Customer: “Oh, hey, we could get her some of these… Um, these—” *frowns at sign* “Kardashians?”

Customer’s Mother: “Those are carnations.”

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