Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

Not Quite The Harper Lee Classic

| Vancouver, BC, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Movies & TV

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have ‘How to Kill a Mockingjay?'”

Me: *just stare at her, completely caught off-guard by her question* “Did you want ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ or ‘Mockingjay?'”

Customer: “To Kill a Mockingjay!”

Me: “Are you sure?” *I lead her over to the teen section, knowing she wants The Hunger Games book, Mockingjay*

Customer: “That’s it! Hunger Games!”

Me: *sigh*

(She didn’t end up buying it because it was in hardcover and she’d rather wait until it’s in paperback so I’m sure I’ll be asked for “To Kill a Mockingjay” again!)

Hey, [His Name]

, | Australia | At The Checkout, Funny Names

(At my deli we have a worker named Naim. We pronounce it exactly the same as the word ‘name.’)

Customer: “How long till the hot chickens come out?”

Coworker #1: “I’m not sure. Hey, Naim, do you know?”

Coworker #2: “Half an hour, I think—”

Customer: “That’s INCREDIBLY rude! Are you just too lazy to learn his name?”

Coworker #2: “But… that is my name.”

(He shows the customer his name tag, and she immediately brightens and apologises.)

Coworker #1: *starts laughing* “If I call anyone Nametag then I’ll be in trouble.” *turns to me* “Right, Nametag?”

(I can’t help but giggle, and the customer just rolls her eyes and walks away.)

More Than Morgan

| NS, Canada | Awesome Customers, Funny Names

(I have recently been hired and the manager has been having trouble getting a name tag for me. Since it is required to wear one, he gives me a choice between two old tags that happen to be in the office, and I choose to be ‘Morgan’ for the time being. I am helping a very sweet customer locate an item.)

Customer: “Thank you so much for all of your help.” *looks at my name tag* “Morgan. You’ve been great. And I’ll remember you because I have a niece named Morgan!”

Me: “I guess I shouldn’t tell you that my name’s not really Morgan then, should I?”

Customer: “It’s not? Oh, no! Well, don’t tell me what it is; you’ll just confuse me!”

Me: *laughing* “Okay, I won’t!”

Customer: “Thanks again for your help, “Morgan”” *makes “air quote” motion with her hands* “I’m sure I’ll be in again!”

(She came in a few more times before I got my proper name tag, and she always called me “Morgan” using her hands to do the air quotes. She never asked for my real name!)

Cocoa-Loco

| Sweden | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names

Me: “Nina! Here’s your tall hot chocolate!”

(The customer takes it, walks away, and comes back.)

Customer: “What was the name?”

Me: “Nina.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s not me.”

Me: *looking at the line of drinks and not seeing any other hot chocolates waiting to be made* “…and you’re waiting for a hot chocolate?”

Customer: “No, a strawberries and cream Frappuccino.”

Me: “…”

He’ll Be Führer-ious

| MI, USA | Funny Names, History

(I’ve recently started my first job as a cashier at a small town’s grocery store. A large, seemingly drunk man has approached my register at night.)

Customer: “Hey! Where’s Hitler?”

Me: “Uhm… what?”

Customer: “You heard me! Where is Hitler?”

Me: *thinking this is a joke of some sort* “He’s, well, dead.”

Customer: “What? No! Not that Hitler! I mean your boss!”

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