Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

I’ll Need Some ID, And A Song…

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Funny Names, Money

(I work in retail in a small strip of stores in a relatively well-off rural area. Due to a policy we should all follow (though few actually do) I ask everyone paying with a credit card for ID. A few stores down from us, there’s a salon named after its owner. For the sake of this story, let’s say her name is Emma.)

Customer: *hands me credit card*

Me: “All right, can I see some ID from you, super quickly?”

Customer: “Oh, okay, but I’m Emma. You know, [Emma’s Salon]?” *points at her apron with the salon name*

Me: “Ah, sorry, I’m new… but I should still see your ID.”

Customer: “But I’m Emma!” *in a sing-song voice* “EM-ma! Emmaemmaemma Emmaaaaa! Em-MA! Emma EM-ma Emmmmmmmma! Eeeeeeemmaaaaaa! EM-MAAAAA! Em-MA, Em-MA, Em-MAAA!”

(This went on for at least a full minute. She did show me her ID eventually. I don’t think I’ll ask her again, though…)

Should Have Been More Emily Blunt

| FL, USA | Bizarre, Funny Names

(I work in an area with a lot of retired folks, many of which have age-related hearing loss. This is usually more amusing than annoying, especially when it comes to giving my name.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is Emily. How may I help you?”

Customers: “Did you say Beverly/Stephanie/Ginger/Jessica/Elaine?”

Me: “Yes.”

Call From Steten

| ME, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words

Me: “May I have your first name?”

Member: “Steven.”

Me: “Is that Steven with a ‘PH’ or ‘V’?”

Member: “…excuse me?”

Me: “Is that Steven with a ‘PH’ or ‘V’?”

Member: “It’s Steven with a ‘T!’ s-T-e-v-e-n!”

Echo Tango Phonetic Home

| UK | Funny Names, Language & Words

(I work for an online jewellery company. We offer a customer design service. A customer calls up asking to speak to one of our custom design specialists.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name] from [Jewellery Company]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I am interested in your custom design service. Is there anyone I can speak to?”

Me: “Sure, I can give the name and number of one our specialists so they can discuss some ideas with you.”

Customer: “Okay, what’s their name?”

Me: “Pritesh, as in P for Papa, R for Romeo, I for Indigo, T for Tango, E for Echo, S for Sierra and H for Hotel.”

Customer: “Wow that’s a long name!”

(I’m slightly confused by this as Pritesh doesn’t seem that long.)

Me: “What do you mean, sir?”

Customer: “Well, that’s a lot of middle names to have: Pritesh Papa, Romeo, Indigo—”

Me: “No, sir! I was using phonetic to help spell his name. It’s P-R-I-T-E-S-H.”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you say that!?” *hangs up*

Talking Baloney About Salami

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I’m the manager of a small local deli. It’s known for unusual cuts of meat, as well as your regular ones. One day a more than eager customer comes in.)

Customer: “Hey, buddy, I want some llama meat.”

Me: “I’m sorry…? Llama meat?”

Customer: “Yeah, my son gets it from here for me every week. Llama meat! You have unusual meat here, and I want some llama meat! Are you new or something?”

Me: “Sir, I’ve worked here for almost a year, and I can assure you we’ve never stocked such an item; in fact, I’m pretty sure hunting llamas is illegal.”

Customer: “No, listen, you little twit! Llama meat! I put it on my sandwiches! See, right there! You have little circles of it, Salamo meat!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir? Could you repeat that?”

Customer: “Llama meat! Salamo meat, whatever! I put it on my sandwiches and it’s red and spicy! Salamo llama meat!”

Me: *putting two and two together* “Do you mean salami? It’s red and comes in circles, and ours is spicy.”

Customer: “Yes, salami! Llama salami salamo meat! Don’t you know anything? God!” *storms out*

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