Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

That Thing That Holds Jay-Pegs

| ON, Canada | Funny Names, Technology

Customer: “I need something printed off my ‘jee-pig’.”

Me: “Your what?”

Customer: “My ‘jee-pig’.” *holds up a USB flash drive*

Me: “Oooh… okay.” *I take it and put it in the computer*

Customer: “Why, is that not what it’s called?”

Me: “Umm, well I’ll be honest with you… I don’t think anyone will know what you’re talking about if you call it that.”

Customer: “Oh. What should I call it?”

Me: “A flash drive, memory stick, USB drive…”

Customer: “Oh. Okay. Memory stick. Huh. I always thought it was called a ‘jee-pig.'”

‘Snsv’ Is Also The Sound My Brain Makes When This Happens

, | Wales, UK | Bizarre, Funny Names, Language & Words, Technology

(We work in a shop in a top educational establishment. I sometimes wonder how these people got into University.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy a charger for my laptop please.”

Me: “Certainly, what make is it?”

Customer: “It’s a snsv—” *pronounced snus uv* “—laptop.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Snsv.”

Me: “I’ve never heard of that brand before.”

Customer: “It’s definitely snsv. I have it here.”

(The customer brings out her laptop and places on the desk.)

Customer: “See, SNSV.”

(I instantly realise what’s gone on and turn the laptop the right way up.)

Me: “It’s an ASUS.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Turning A Clean Drink Dirty

| The Netherlands | Funny Names, Language & Words

Customer: *looking over our menu* “Do you have any smutties?”

Me: “I’m… I’m sorry, could you repeat that please? I didn’t quite catch that.”

Customer: “Do you have smutties?”

Me: “Do we have… smutties?”

Customer: “Yeah! Smutties!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that. What is it exactly?”

Customer: “Oh, really?! It’s a drink. With fruit and yoghurt and stuff.”

Me: “Oh — OH! SMOOTHIES! No, I’m sorry, we don’t have any smoothies…”

I’ll Need Some ID, And A Song…

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Funny Names, Money

(I work in retail in a small strip of stores in a relatively well-off rural area. Due to a policy we should all follow (though few actually do) I ask everyone paying with a credit card for ID. A few stores down from us, there’s a salon named after its owner. For the sake of this story, let’s say her name is Emma.)

Customer: *hands me credit card*

Me: “All right, can I see some ID from you, super quickly?”

Customer: “Oh, okay, but I’m Emma. You know, [Emma’s Salon]?” *points at her apron with the salon name*

Me: “Ah, sorry, I’m new… but I should still see your ID.”

Customer: “But I’m Emma!” *in a sing-song voice* “EM-ma! Emmaemmaemma Emmaaaaa! Em-MA! Emma EM-ma Emmmmmmmma! Eeeeeeemmaaaaaa! EM-MAAAAA! Em-MA, Em-MA, Em-MAAA!”

(This went on for at least a full minute. She did show me her ID eventually. I don’t think I’ll ask her again, though…)

Should Have Been More Emily Blunt

| FL, USA | Bizarre, Funny Names

(I work in an area with a lot of retired folks, many of which have age-related hearing loss. This is usually more amusing than annoying, especially when it comes to giving my name.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is Emily. How may I help you?”

Customers: “Did you say Beverly/Stephanie/Ginger/Jessica/Elaine?”

Me: “Yes.”

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