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Category: Wild & Unruly

Putting The Loin In Tenderloin

| Germany | Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I am a female butcher. The butchery/preparation room is separated from the service area. I bring out a customer their meat, which is a whole beef tenderloin. It comes to almost 49€ per kilo. A moment later the sales girl comes into the preparation room.)

Sales Girl: “Hey, you just sold the customer some tenderloin for over 100€, right?”

Me: “Yes I did; is there a problem? He wanted the whole tenderloin.”

Sales Girl: “He’s saying he never ordered anything. The store manager just grabbed him at the register, because he knew that customer bought something, but he didn’t pay for anything.”

Me: “Oh, but I sold him the whole tenderloin, and it’s vacuum-packed.”

(The store manager walks up to the counter, with the customer in question. One of the customer’s trouser legs is a bit more ‘filled’ than the other.)

Customer: “She’s lying! I never bought anything!”

Me: “Sir, I sold you a whole beef tenderloin. And… I think you hid it in your trousers.”

(The customer denies, but the store manager threatens to call the police. The customer drops his pants in front of all employees and customers. He pulls out the whole tenderloin, still vacuum packed, and throws it into my face, then storms out. We get rid of the package pretty fast, and I get an icepack for my nose!)

Insulting Jitsu, And Then It Hits You

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I work near a campus which is currently in finals-week, so quite a few students come in early to get a pick-me-up before their exams. Five customers are in line; four regulars, followed by an impatient customer at the end. )

Impatient Customer: “Gods! Why can’t this b**** work the cash register faster? I’ve got some important things to do!”

Regular #1: “Calm down, buddy. She’s doing just fine.”

Regular #3: “Yeah. Like what you have to do is important to any of us.”

Regular #4: “Seriously. We’re all in a hurry here.”

Impatient Customer: “Yeah? Well, he’s not!”

(The impatient customer points at Regular #2.)

Impatient Customer: “I’m getting in front of him!”

(Regular #2 is very young, and looks like a college student at first glance. He also always comes in looking like he’s asleep, but gets in and out with no problem.)

Impatient Customer: “This dumb-a** probably stayed up all night cramming for his test! Stop leaving s*** until the last second dumb-a**!”

(The impatient customer starts forcing his way forward. As soon as he touches Regular #2, there is a blur of motion, and the impatient customer is flying towards a display. Another blur of motion occurs, and Regular #2 is standing in front of the display and the impatient customer is on the floor near the door instead.)

Regulars #1, #3 And #4: “What just happened?!”

Regular #2: “I didn’t want him crashing into the display and causing more work for this little lady here.”

Me: “[Regular #2’s name] has practiced martial arts since he was eight. He helps out at [local dojo I go to].”

Regular #2: *to the impatient customer* “Also, aren’t you the lead for [name] with [company name]?”

Impatient Customer: “How’d you know that?”

Regular #2: “Because I’m the developer for the product you’ve requested from [other company name]. I’m going to be so glad to tell your boss this product isn’t viable, because his lead is impossible to work with. I do hope you enjoy your wait in line, because I’m going to personally make your workday miserable.”

A Bit Light On Being Polite

| Yonkers, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I’m buying an item that offers certain customization options, and I’ve requested that mine have quite a bit of work done. I’ve made a few mistakes explaining what I want, and each one means the employee has to start from the very beginning.)

Employee: “Okay, I think it’s finally right. Can you take a look and confirm that all this is what you want?”

(The employee shows me the screen.)

Me: “Yeah, yeah, whoops. Sorry, this is wrong.”

Employee: “I’m sorry, my mistake. Let me see if I can void that one item—”

(The terminal goes black.)

Employee: “MOTHERF—whoops! Sorry, shouldn’t have said that.”

Me: “I’m sorry that my order is causing so much trouble.”

Employee: “Dude, you have no freaking idea. I don’t care if your order takes an hour, you’re actually being patient. I’m going to do what it takes to make sure you get everything the way you want it.”

Me: “I hope being minimally polite isn’t something that stands out so much from the—”

(There’s a crash from the next checkout counter.)

Other Employee: “But, sir, I ran the card four times, and it got rejected each time—”

Customer: *holding an item and smashing it into the counter* “RUN THE F****** CARD! IT’S MINE!”

Other Employee: “I never said it wasn’t yours!”

Employee: “What was that about being polite?”