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Category: Wild & Unruly

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He Has A Computer Bug Up His A**

| Inland Empire, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular, Technology, Wild & Unruly

Customer: *slams two broken laptops on counter* “Fix ’em.”

Me: “Um. Okay. What’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “I don’t know; that’s your job, not mine.”

Me: “Sure thing. Do you happen to have a warranty on these by chance?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Why?”

(At this point, I’m plugging both laptops into the wall under my desk via the chargers the customer has supplied, so I can attempt to boot them up.)

Me: “Well, these appear to be a little bit older. If they are out of warranty, we can work with you on services for rep—”

(The customer begins yanking on the power chords, which are now plugged in under the counter. The “bricks” on the chargers are swinging very close to my face. He yanks hard enough to free both chargers from the wall, and they come inches from smacking me in the face hard.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, was that necessary?”

Customer: “I’m not paying you to fix my s***, you a**-hole! Fix it or I’m throwing them at you!”

(At this point, management has come over to the counter and asked the customer to leave. He looks right at me.)

Customer: “You want to go outside, buddy?”

Me: “Sir, are you serious?”

(The customer is escorted to the front of the door, detained by loss prevention, and the police are called. The manager comes up to me afterwards.)

Manager: “Did he come in like that? What just happened?”

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Can’t Kiss Them Goodbye

NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Popular, Wild & Unruly

(I’m a woman at a store with my girlfriend. While we’re giving each other the occasional kiss, it’s nothing too obnoxious. Another customer sees us and storms over.)

Customer: “I don’t care what you two [slurs] do at home, but this is being out in public. There could be kids here!”

Me: “Sir, we’re not doing anything remotely wrong.”

Customer: “Keep saying that, [slur]! I’ll get you kicked out!”

Girlfriend: “What’s your problem? We haven’t done anything to you!”

Customer: “You f****s are all the same. First you demand equality, then you attack us, then you cry out when we retaliate. You all should be rounded up and killed!”

Me: “Uhm, sir, all we’ve done is kiss. If that’s so offensive, then you can leave.”

Customer: “F*** you, you f**** [slur]! Go to h***!”

(We run and get an employee, who calls a manager over. We tell him what happened, and the customer comes over.)

Customer: “You! Manager! I demand you remove these two [slurs] at once!”

Manager: “No. They have done nothing disruptive. You, however, need to get out.”

Customer: “What?! But I’m straight! These two f***s are gonna terrorize this place! You have to kick them out!”

Manager: “Get out before I call security.”

Customer: “If you won’t kick them out, I will!”

(The customer lunges for me and my girlfriend. The employee suddenly grabs his collar and yanks him away from us. The manager starts calling security over while the guy keeps screaming at us.)

Customer: “YOU TWO [slurs] SHOULD BE KILLED! BEHEADED!”

Manager: “Please quiet down; there are kids in the store.” *he turns to me and my girlfriend* “Are you two okay?”

Me: “Yeah, we’re both fine.”

(Security arrived and tried to drag him out. He kept trying to get us, eventually turning to the officers. The police were called, and the manager took us to his office to wait. The police showed up soon after. We gave our statements, and then watched the guy get arrested. Apparently he’d assaulted other people, and threatened to kill ‘those f***s’ several times.)

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Gun Control Out Of Control, Part 2

| IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Money, Popular, Wild & Unruly

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cable Company]! My name is [My Name]. How can I help—”

Customer: “Now listen here, f*****! I keep getting these calls saying I’m past due on my bill! I pay my bill ON TIME, EVERY MONTH! What the h*** is the meaning of this?”

(The customer continues on in this fashion for about fifteen minutes, swearing at me and calling me names. I finally managed to get his account pulled up, and wouldn’t you know it, he indeed has a past due balance. He has actually been about a month behind on his bill for most of the year. I proceed to explain the situation to him, going a year back and explaining each bill to him.)

Me: “Sir, I understand your frustration, but the fact of the matter is, you’ve been behind a month on your bill for the past year. You’ve been turned off twice in that time. This is why you continually get those automated calls. If you’d like, I can set you up on a payment plan to get you caught back up.”

Customer: “Why? So you and your communist company can swindle me out of more money? You can go right to h***, and if I get one more call about my so-called ‘past due’ balance, I’ll send you there myself! I have a gun, and it’s looking a bit bored, if you get my meaning.”

Me: *becoming angry* “Okay, sir, you have now crossed a very serious line. Are you aware that making death threats is a serious crime?”

Customer: “It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. I will hunt you down, mother-f*****!”

Me: “See, now, I don’t think that’s going to be possible. For one thing, you haven’t the slightest idea where I am. I could be five miles away from you, or clear across the country. So, best of luck finding me. Second, this call is being recorded, as I’m sure you’re well aware, so our entire conversation would stand as evidence in a court of law. Third, in keeping with your ignorance of my whereabouts, you know nothing about me except my first name and where I work. I, however, have your full name, address, telephone number, social security number, and a whole myriad of other information that would prove quite useful to the police, should I choose to file a police report. And believe me, I intend to. Now, would you like to rethink your threats, or do you want to carry on with your plan to gun me down?”

Customer: “…’m sorry.”

Me: “Thank you. Now, these calls will continue until your past due balance is paid. I recommend paying the whole balance in full and getting your account current so we don’t have to have this conversation again.”

(The rest of the call was him mumbling sheepishly and me happily closing the call. Never heard back from him, strangely enough!)

Related:
Gun Control Out Of Control

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The Kind You Meet Down A Dark Bowling Alley

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Wild & Unruly

(My coworker, who is in high school and only on his third shift, and I close the alley at 10 and spend the next hour cleaning and closing up. At 11 pm, we lock the doors and start chatting about the night, when a car pulls up.)

Customer: “Are you guys closed?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we closed at 10 tonight.”

Customer: “Well, we want to bowl.”

(Both people from the car are now out and walking towards the door. Coworker and I are now next to our cars, getting ready to leave.)

Me: “Well, we’re closed now but will open again tomorrow at 10 am.”

Customer: “No, we want to bowl now. Get back in there and let us bowl.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t. All the machines are off, the computers are shut down, and the doors are locked. If you come back tomorrow, we are open until midnight.”

Customer: “Listen, b****, you aren’t getting it. You are going to open the f*** back up and let us in! We came here to f****** bowl and we are going to f****** bowl.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but we are CLOSED. We are currently going home so no, you are not bowling tonight. Please, just come back tomorrow and you’ll be able to.”

(This entire time, the customer’s friend has been staring at us, obviously getting angrier and angrier with every word. He has now moved so he is blocking my car door, so I cannot get in and he grabs my arm.)

Customer’s Friend: “OPEN THE F****** DOORS RIGHT NOW, YOU STUPID LITTLE W****! I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE CLOSED. WE CAME HERE TO BOWL AND YOU ARE GOING TO LET US F****** BOWL. DO YOUR JOB YOU LAZY PIECE OF S*** OR I WILL F****** MAKE YOU!”

(While the customers were busy berating us, they did not see the police officer who patrols our parking lot every night pull in and walk up behind them.)

Cop: “Let go of the girl’s arm and put your hands up NOW!”

(He arrested them both for being drunk in public and the friend for assault. We had to give statements and meet with the cops and management the next day to tell what happened and give them the security footage. We assured my coworker that this was a first time incident but I was still pretty surprised he came back!)

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Making Unwarranted Comments

| KY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Popular, Wild & Unruly

(I am the longest-working employee at a locally-owned business. The store sells batteries in any shape and size, so here I am manning the front, when a customer I recognize comes in with a particular brand battery. The battery in question is obviously beat up, and half the labels on it are gone.)

Customer: “I need to get a new one of these.”

Me: “All right, well, a new one of those runs [amount].”

Customer: “No, this is under warranty.”

Me: “Fair enough; do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “No, I bought it here.”

Me: “Okay, hang on just a second.” *I check our system and find no receipt for the customer for an item of this brand* “I’m sorry, but we haven’t ever sold one of this brand to you before.”

Customer: “Yeah, you did.”

Me: “I have no record of it here.”

Customer: “It’s when you were at the old location. I bought it new there.”

Me: “No, sir. I’m sorry, but we didn’t sell those new at the old location.”

Customer: “Yeah, you did. How would you know? I bought a new one there.”

Me: “I’d know because I was at the old location and we didn’t start selling that brand until about a year after we moved here.”

Customer: “I want you to give me a new one.”

Me: “I can’t do that. I don’t have any receipt on one of these for you.”

(At this point, with a line of customers behind him, he starts cussing me out. I’m a big dude, 6’3” and tip the scales at about 280, as well as knowing how to handle myself, so I’m just standing there, letting him yell at me in full view of other customers and our security cameras.)

Me: “All right, listen. We didn’t sell those new at the old location, I don’t have a receipt so I’m not going to warranty that out for you, and stop talking to me like that.”

Customer: “I’m going to tell your f***ing boss about this!”

Me: “Go right ahead; tell me how it turns out.”

Customer: “I ought to f***ing make you do this.”

Me: “I wouldn’t recommend that.”

(The customer storms out, still cussing me out. The next customer in line watches him go while I lean on the counter and take a few deep breaths.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I need just a second.”

Next Customer: “I’m impressed, I expected a big guy like you to come around the counter and beat the h*** out of him for talking to you like that.”

Me: “Nah, we’ve got cameras. What can I do for you?”

(And that’s how you impress a big company buyer and make a thousand dollar sale.)

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