Category: Wild & Unruly

Just Three Hot Minutes Away From Complete Anarchy

, | Port St Lucie, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(I am the manager for a busy fast food chain. Naturally, when we run out of product because it sells quicker than expected, we have to cook more.)

Drive-Thru: “Sir, it’ll be about three minutes for the chicken to finish cooking. Do you want something else or is waiting okay?”

Customer #1: “No, I’ll wait. Just don’t forget about me.” *drives forward and parks*

(The chicken has just come up not even three minutes later and we are in the process of assembling his sandwiches when the customer comes storming inside. So of course I think to myself: “yup, here comes Hell*)

Customer #1: “F**K THIS! I HAD TO WAIT FOR MY FOOD TO COOK. YOU KNOW WHAT? I ORDER HERE EVERYDAY! I WANT MY F***ING FOOD OR MY F***ING MONEY!”

(At this point he is screaming at the top of his lungs, in front of all my other guests.)

Me: “Okay, sir, just give me one moment. Your food just came up. I’ve got it right here for you.”

Customer #1: “F**K THIS. THIS IS A WASTE OF F***ING TIME. I WANT MY FOOD OR MY F***ING MONEY.”

(The food is in my hand, in front of him, as he is screaming this.)

Other Manager: “Sir, she has it ready. Just please stop cursing at us. We have it for you.”

Customer #1: “F*** YOU!”

(At this point there are children inside with another customer.)

Customer #2: “Sir, please stop.”

Customer #1: “YOU WANT TO FIGHT? COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME!”

Customer #2: “Sir. There’s no need to curse, that’s all I’m saying.”

Customer #1: “THIS IS F****** AMERICA! I CAN SAY WHATEVER THE F*** I WANT. SO SHUT YOUR GOD-D*** MOUTH!”

(Finally, after five minutes of screaming over the food, he snatches it out of my hand nearly ripping the bag and storms off out the door.)

Customer #2: “What was his problem?”

(We all couldn’t help but just start laughing.)

Happy New Rear-Ended

| PA, USA | Holidays, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

(It’s New Year’s Eve, a few minutes before the repair shop closes (early) for the day. I’m a customer. I walk in and end up behind an older woman. She’s paying for her repairs. The cashier finishes with her and asks if she can help me.)

Me: “Yes, I need to have some brake work done. I was hoping—”

Older Woman: “HEY! It’s New Year’s EVE and they are closing in a few minutes. You can’t just walk in and get your brakes fixed.”

Me: “I know. I’m just trying to make an appointment.”

Older Woman: “But you can’t HAVE an appointment; they are closing soon.”

Cashier: “It’s fine; I know she’s scheduling for next week.”

Older Woman: “No, it’s not fine! You don’t treat people like this!”

(This goes on for almost ten minutes, with the older woman interrupting every time the cashier tries to explain. Finally, the cashier manages to get her father, the shop owner, to come out.)

Older Woman: “Finally! Now he can explain how RUDE you are!”

Father: “When did you want to bring in your car?”

Me: “Next Friday?”

Father: “That’s fine. Not sure why it was such a big deal.”

(By now the older woman has finally left. It’s past closing time.)

Cashier: “It was only a big deal because that woman couldn’t understand that making an appointment takes seconds, if she shuts up and lets me do it.”

Me: “Yeah, sorry. She seemed a bit off.”

(We all hear a crash from outside and rush out to check. The woman has backed into the building.)

Father: “It seems like maybe understanding how long it takes to schedule an appointment is the least of her worries.”

An Alarming Amount Of Calming

| IL, USA | At The Checkout, Wild & Unruly

(I am putting my groceries on the belt at the grocery store on New Year’s Eve. I only have about six items but have three more items to put on the belt. A woman steps into line behind me and starts unloading her cart. I move her items back on the belt to finish placing my order on the belt. She apologizes and I nod, turning back to the cashier as she checks me out.)

Customer: *clearly agitated* “Hey! I’m talking to you!”

(I turn to look at her, unaware that she’d been talking to me prior to this.)

Customer: “You can’t be mad about that people make mistakes. You’re crazy. What the h*** is your problem?”

Me: *genuinely confused* “I don’t think I said anything to you.”

Customer: “You gave me a dirty look! What is your problem; people can’t make a mistake?!”

(She continues to rant as the cashier nervously gives me my total which I need to ask her to repeat. As I’m ignoring the woman behind me she’s becoming more agitated and her volume is increasing. Once I pay it turn back to her and smile as brightly as I can.)

Me: “You have a very happy new year.”

Customer: “You need to calm the F*** DOWN! WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM?!”

(I mouthed good luck to the bagger as the customer continued to yell at me as I walked away.)

Caught You In A Jam

| York, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I work in a store that has four floors. I work in the basement taking deliveries so I have very little knowledge of the supermarket itself save for which floor things go to. Occasionally I have to cross the shop floor to deliver said stock. Here I’m on the lowest floor, just returning to my post, when a middle-aged chap in a well-tailored business suit bursts in off the street:)

Customer: *upon seeing my uniform* “Hey, you there, where is your jam?”

Me: *just wanting to get back to my job* “I’m very sorry, sir. I’m afraid I’m not trained as floor staff so I don’t know how to help you, but I’m sure if…”

Customer: “I NEED jam!”

Me: *trying to stay polite* “I’m sorry, sir, I honestly don’t know where the jam is; I work behind the scenes here with stock delivery you see.” *I spot a floor worker* “However…”

Customer: *hasn’t listened to a word* “I NEED JAM NOW! I’m a VERY busy man and I don’t have time to be messed around by stupid, lazy, little people like you. NOW DO YOUR BLOODY JOB AND GET ME JAM!”

(He’s flaring his nostrils, shaking, and getting really quite scary eyed by now, a full on temper tantrum, basically, so I decide to have a go at pretending I’m floor staff.)

Me: “All right, then, let’s see…” *I look up and Lady Luck shines on me* “…ah, I would take a guess it’s probably somewhere near that big 6×4 foot hanging sign just behind you that says ‘Jams’?”

(The customer follows my gaze and sees said sign.)

Customer: *angry sarcasm* “THERE! You see, that wasn’t SO hard for you to do, now WAS it?!” *stomps off in the direction of the sign*

Me: *under breath* “So easy even you might have been able to do it, sir.”

(How urgent a need for jam can anybody possibly have, anyway?)

Friendship Is Tragic

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(A frequent customer who bears a striking resemblance to Liza Minnelli will constantly call our jewelry department and ask vague questions. She has a distinctive voice and particular cadence when she speaks so you always know it’s her on the phone. Around Christmas, we receive this call:)

Me: “Jewelry Department, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Not-Liza: “Do you… do you have jewelry boxes?”

Me: “Yes, we have an assortment of jewelry boxes. Are you looking for anything specific?”

Not-Liza: “I want… a jewelry box.”

Me: *knowing that she has a young daughter* “Are you looking for a little girl’s jewelry box?”

Not-Liza: “Are they pink?”

Me: “We have a few different types.”

Not-Liza: “Do you have… one with princesses on it?”

Me: “No, but we have a My Little Pony—”

Not-Liza: “I don’t want the My Little Pony!”

Me: “Well, we have the My Little Pony—”

Not-Liza: “I don’t WANT the My Little Pony!”

Me: “I’m trying to tell you what all we have.”

Not-Liza: “What DO… you have?”

Me: “We have ones with ballerinas, some that are sparkly, and… the My Little Pony—”

Not-Liza: “I DON’T WANT THE MY LITTLE PONY!”

(Two hours later my coworker and I spot her in the store, with a beautiful My Little Pony jewelry box nestled in her cart.)

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