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Category: Wild & Unruly

Ready To Bust His Pipes

| Omaha, NE, USA | Bigotry, Home Improvement, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I’m a fairly petite, young looking woman, who grew up with three brothers, and a single father. I’m one of the better employees for plumbing help, because my dad made me learn.)

Me: “Welcome to [store]; what’s the project today?”

Customer: “My toilet leaks; I need one of your guys to help.”

Me: “Let’s head to plumbing. Where is the leak from?”

Customer: “I want one of the guys, and not some idiot girl.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll radio one of them.”

(A coworker responds, and I turn the customer over and go back to restocking. A few minutes later, the customer storms up.)

Customer: “This is the stupidest hardware store! Where’s your manager?”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry; what’s the problem?”

Customer: “I want your manager!”

Me: “They’ll be in tomorrow morning.”

(The customer stomps out. The next day, I’m in plumbing. I am helping one of our regular contractors, when yesterday’s cranky customer returns.)

Customer: “I want your manager!”

(The cashier radio calls them, and the owner actually responds first.)

Owner: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “You have idiots working here! They can’t help in plumbing!”

(The owner gestures to me.)

Owner: “Sir, she is one of our plumbing experts, and was on last night.”

Customer: “I know that no idiot girl can help!”

(The contractor walks up.)

Contractor: “Watch your mouth! She is the best help you can get without calling a professional!”

Customer: “NO! Girls should be cashiers, and flirt with customers!”

Owner: “Sir, you’ll have to leave.”

Customer: “You can’t make me!”

Me: “Sir. I have two police officer brothers, a correctional officer father, a jujitsu trainer brother, and my martial arts training. You are leaving. By your choice or by force.”

(For a few moments, the customer contemplates if it’s worth the fight, but ultimately decides against it.)

Contractor: “Man, you ruin all my fun by giving him a choice!”

Owner: “Don’t encourage her. She isn’t in the gym, so she can’t go dislocating elbows here.”

Contractor: “Now both of you are ruining my fun!” *leaves*

Life Is Stranger Than The Fiction Section

| SC, USA | Books & Reading, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

Me: “Sorry, you can’t check this out.”

Patron: “Why not?”

Me: “You have three overdue books.”

Patron: “Is there anyway you can let this slide?”

Me: “Nope.”

(The patron proceeds to take off her shirt.)

Patron: “How about now?”

Me: “No. Please put on your shirt before I call the police.”

(The patron then takes off her pants, pulls aside her underwear, and soaks the floor. It is carpet, so there is a lot of damage. My coworker calls the police.)

Patron: “Now will you let it slide?”

Me: “No.”

Patron: “F*** you!”

(She goes over to a shelf, puts her back against it, and pees all over. It splashes up and ruins several books. She also defecates, picks up one of the books, tears out several pages, and uses it to wipe. The police arrive, and she calls her boyfriend, who is apparently in another section. He pleads with the police to let her free, but they don’t let her. He then adds to the mess that his girlfriend has already made. The police take him too. Later, we find another section that is completely ruined. That must have been where the boyfriend was.)

Diabetes Meets Rabies

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(A customer is picking up some diabetic test-strips, and I am ringing him up.)

Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

Customer: “I’m alright; how about yourself?”

Me: “I’m doing great, thanks. Did you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

(The customer gestures at the test strips, jokingly.)

Customer: “Yeah, do I really have to poke myself for these to work?”

Me: “Yep, I’m afraid so.”

Customer: “Can’t I just poke you instead?”

Me: *laughing* “Sorry, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, sir.”

(The customer gestures at my multiple facial piercings.)

Customer: “You look like the type that would enjoy that, though.”

Me: “Your doctor might have a problem with that, though.”

(When a customer picks up a prescription, they’re required by law to sign, stating that they’ve received it. Our pharmacy does this through an electronic prompt. The customer looks at it.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s just a way to say that you’ve gotten your prescription. That way there’s no confusion later. It’s as much for your protection as ours really.”

Customer: “Well what happens if I don’t sign it?”

Me: “Then unfortunately, we’re not allowed to give you your prescriptions.”

Customer: “WELL I GUESS I’M NOT GETTING ANYTHING TODAY!”

(The customer THROWS the electronic pen across the counter, hitting me in the face. He turns, and practically skips away. The pharmacist and I aren’t sure if he is joking, but by the end of the day he still hasn’t come back!)