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Category: Wild & Unruly

High On Coffee, Low On Everything Else

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a small coffee shop outside a shopping center. There is a regular who is known for being very rude and ignorant about his wealth. I am a 17-year-old girl, who has recently got this job.)

Me: “Hello, sir, welcome to [coffee shop], what woul—”

Regular: *aggressively* “Coffee!”

Me: “Okay, what ki—”

Regular: “Dumb b**** lowlife! I said coffee!”

Me: “Sir, please don’t use that language here.”

Regular: “For f***’s sake! This is why I am rich, and you work at a dump like this! Probably so you can buy your drug money!”

Me: “Sir, I—”

Regular: “B****! WE SHOULD TAKE ALL YOU LOWLIFES, AND BURY YOU LIKE MAGGOTS!”

Me: *tearing up* “Sir, plea—”

Regular: “SHUT UP YOU FILTHY W**** B****! AND MAKE ME MY D*** COFFEE!”

(My manager comes running out to see what’s going on. Before he can speak up, a small old lady next in line starts speaking.)

Old Woman: “Now listen here, you ignorant rat! This woman has barely had a chance to speak! If we did what you said, and got rid of the lower classes, who would change your god-d*** diapers, and make you your morning cup of coffee?”

Regular: “D*** you! I uh…” *turning to me* “I want my coffee, NOW!”

Manager: “NO, YOU CAN LEAVE MY STORE BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!”

(The regular turns even more red, and runs out of the store. My manager gives me the rest of the day off, as well as a free meal. The old woman also leaves me a $20 tip!)

Putting The Loin In Tenderloin

| Germany | Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I am a female butcher. The butchery/preparation room is separated from the service area. I bring out a customer their meat, which is a whole beef tenderloin. It comes to almost 49€ per kilo. A moment later the sales girl comes into the preparation room.)

Sales Girl: “Hey, you just sold the customer some tenderloin for over 100€, right?”

Me: “Yes I did; is there a problem? He wanted the whole tenderloin.”

Sales Girl: “He’s saying he never ordered anything. The store manager just grabbed him at the register, because he knew that customer bought something, but he didn’t pay for anything.”

Me: “Oh, but I sold him the whole tenderloin, and it’s vacuum-packed.”

(The store manager walks up to the counter, with the customer in question. One of the customer’s trouser legs is a bit more ‘filled’ than the other.)

Customer: “She’s lying! I never bought anything!”

Me: “Sir, I sold you a whole beef tenderloin. And… I think you hid it in your trousers.”

(The customer denies, but the store manager threatens to call the police. The customer drops his pants in front of all employees and customers. He pulls out the whole tenderloin, still vacuum packed, and throws it into my face, then storms out. We get rid of the package pretty fast, and I get an icepack for my nose!)

Insulting Jitsu, And Then It Hits You

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I work near a campus which is currently in finals-week, so quite a few students come in early to get a pick-me-up before their exams. Five customers are in line; four regulars, followed by an impatient customer at the end. )

Impatient Customer: “Gods! Why can’t this b**** work the cash register faster? I’ve got some important things to do!”

Regular #1: “Calm down, buddy. She’s doing just fine.”

Regular #3: “Yeah. Like what you have to do is important to any of us.”

Regular #4: “Seriously. We’re all in a hurry here.”

Impatient Customer: “Yeah? Well, he’s not!”

(The impatient customer points at Regular #2.)

Impatient Customer: “I’m getting in front of him!”

(Regular #2 is very young, and looks like a college student at first glance. He also always comes in looking like he’s asleep, but gets in and out with no problem.)

Impatient Customer: “This dumb-a** probably stayed up all night cramming for his test! Stop leaving s*** until the last second dumb-a**!”

(The impatient customer starts forcing his way forward. As soon as he touches Regular #2, there is a blur of motion, and the impatient customer is flying towards a display. Another blur of motion occurs, and Regular #2 is standing in front of the display and the impatient customer is on the floor near the door instead.)

Regulars #1, #3 And #4: “What just happened?!”

Regular #2: “I didn’t want him crashing into the display and causing more work for this little lady here.”

Me: “[Regular #2’s name] has practiced martial arts since he was eight. He helps out at [local dojo I go to].”

Regular #2: *to the impatient customer* “Also, aren’t you the lead for [name] with [company name]?”

Impatient Customer: “How’d you know that?”

Regular #2: “Because I’m the developer for the product you’ve requested from [other company name]. I’m going to be so glad to tell your boss this product isn’t viable, because his lead is impossible to work with. I do hope you enjoy your wait in line, because I’m going to personally make your workday miserable.”