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Category: Wild & Unruly

Karkat, Thor, And Loki Walk Into A Bar…

, | Manchester, England, UK | Bigotry, Geeks Rule, Top, Wild & Unruly

(A con is going on nearby, and the fast food joint is full of people in cosplay. A rather attractive woman—dressed as a cheerleader with a pink chainsaw—leaves the building with her friends. They are whistled at by two rowdy customers entering.)

Customer #1: “Hey dude, check out all these freaks in here!”

Customer #2: “Oh, God! They’re everywhere! F****** freaks.”

Customer #1: *to a male cosplayer in front of him* “Oi mate, what the f*** are you supposed to be?”

Male Cosplayer #1: “M-me? I’m ‘Karkat’ from Homestuck.”

Customer #1: “Well, you look like a joke. What the f*** are those on your head?”

(The customer flicks the orange horns clipped to the cosplayer’s hair.)

Male Cosplayer #1: “Please don’t do that; I made these myself and I don’t want them to break.”

Customer #2: “You hear that? The little freak made his own horns! Ah, I guess it’s not all bad though; did you see that chick before with the massive rack?”

Customer #1: “I know, you don’t see hot cheerleaders everyday. She’s totally going to get it off me later.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, we’ll find her and give it to her good. I’m going to squeeze those t*** of her so hard.”

Male Cosplayer #1: “Can you please stop?! It’s really degrading to talk about women like that.”

(The whole restaurant goes quiet, and they turn to the rowdy customers.)

Customer #1: “If the slag didn’t want it, should wouldn’t have them hanging out.”

Male Cosplayer #1: “She was in costume! Besides, what does it matter how she was dressed? Clothing isn’t an invitation.”

Customer #2: “Do you want to take this outside?”

(Just then, another male customer in the corner, who also happens to be a cosplayer, speaks up.)

Male Cosplayer #2: “If you fight him, you have to fight me first!”

Customer #2: “Who said that?”

(Male Cosplayer #2 stands up to reveal he is well over 6 ft tall, and very muscular, but in costume too.)

Male Cosplayer #2: “I am Thor, Son of Odin, God of Thunder, who commands the Lightning and the Storm!”

(At that moment, a third cosplayer stands up, revealing he too is very tall and muscular.)

Male Cosplayer #3: “And I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose… to defend women from sexist pigs like you, and defend people’s right to cosplay!”

(The two rowdy customers quickly remove themselves from the restaurant, while Karkat, Thor and Loki receive a round of applause.)

Related:
Link, Nyu And Sephiroth Walk Into A Bar…

Descending Into Obnoxiousness

| Montevideo, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

(I’m standing at the bus stop when I see the bus coming. There’s a car just a few meters before the bus stop, not allowing the bus to stop very close from the side walk. The doors open and a passenger starts descending, and stops half-way, blocking two other people and myself from getting in.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you going to descend?”

Passenger: “Yes I am, whenever this driver decides to get closer to the side walk.”

Driver: “Sorry, but I can’t get any closer, ma’am. The car is blocking me.”

Passenger: “You are obligated to stop 50cm from the side walk, and you are stopping at least a meter and a half!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but can you let me pass?”

Passenger: “No, you’ll just have to wait. I guess I’m going to stay here until the next stop.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the next stop is two blocks away, and I’ll never catch the bus. I really can’t wait for the next one.”

(I try to get on, and she pushes me away with incredible strength and I almost fall.)

Passenger: “No! You’ll just have to wait.”

Me: “Look, we are happy to help you descend if that’s the problem, but we all need to get on the bus.”

Passenger: “I don’t want you to help me descending. Do you think I’m crippled? I want the bus driver to respect the law or I’ll fill a complaint!”

Person Behind Me: “Oh, come on! Just let us pass!”

Me: “Yes, just let us in, and you can descend the next stop.”

Passenger: *screaming at bus driver* “You should stop closer to the side walk; move the bus!”

Driver: “Ma’am, I can’t. These people offered you help to descend if that was the problem, but you refused it. You can stay on the bus and descend at the next stop and let these people in, or just descend.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have had enough! I need to get to my job.”

(I manage to get on the bus even though she pushes me again. She eventually descends while cursing at all of us.)

Me: “Wow, some people are just crazy.”

Driver: “You have no idea, girl!”

Playstation Four-Ever

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology, Wild & Unruly

(It is late 2012, and rumors are flying about exactly what the new Playstation and Xbox would be like. A customer walks up to the counter. He looks about 20-25, with his cap on backwards and his pants low with a singlet.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today mate?”

Customer: “I’d like to pre-order the new Playstation.”

Me: “I’m sorry; they haven’t actually announced it yet.”

Customer: “So? I just want to make sure I get one. How much do I need to put down?”

Me: “I’m really sorry mate, but I can’t take your money. We can’t do any pre-orders until the console is at least announced by the company.”

Customer: “Really? Well do you know when it will be released?”

Me: “Nope, but all the rumors are saying not until the end of next year.”

Customer: “That’s bull-s***! I don’t want to wait that long! They should just hurry up.”

Me: “Yeah, there’s a lot of people looking forward to it. Was there anything else I could help you with?”

Customer: “Well since I can’t get the Playstation, can I put a pre-order down for the new Xbox?”

Me: “Sorry again mate, but that hasn’t been announce yet either. But I’d say it will probably be released around the same time as the Playstation.”

Customer: “F*** off! This is bull-s***! Why can’t the f****** company just release the new consoles when I want them?! Stupid a**-holes! They should be doing what I want; I’m the paying customer! They’ll never have my money again!”

(The customer wanders around the store swearing and muttering to himself before he walks out the front and starts yelling.)

Customer: “DON’T BOTHER GOING IN THERE! THERE’S NOTHING NEW, AND THERE NEVER WILL BE! THE WHOLE PLACE IS A LIE!”