icon_wildunruly

Category: Wild & Unruly

Doesn’t Give Two Hoots About Listening

| AB, Canada | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

(My city is having an annual festival in the downtown area. I have an animatronic owl that I like to bring out on such occasions. It sits on my shoulder and moves in a very life-like manner. Kids love it and are very respectful of it. Adults, on the other hand are not. A woman grabs me by the shoulder, spins me around, and yells…)

Woman: “WHAT IS THAT?!”

Me: “Whoa… um, please don’t touch me. It’s a puppet.”

(I begin to walk away, but she grabs me again and tries to knock the owl off my shoulder.)

Woman: “IT LOOKS SO REAL! WHY DO YOU HAVE AN OWL ON YOUR SHOULDER?! HAVING A PET OWL IS ILLEGAL!”

Me: “Again, please don’t touch me, and DO NOT touch my puppet. And it IS a puppet, not real. It’s made of faux fur, polymer and cables.”

(The woman starts yelling to a police officer, who is monitoring the event.)

Woman: “THIS WOMAN HAS A PET OWL! ARREST HER! IT’S ILLEGAL!”

(The officer comes over, and examines my owl puppet.)

Officer: “So how does this thing work?”

(I explain how I control it with a hidden cable, and how it’s made.)

Woman: “SHE’S LYING! THAT’S A REAL BIRD!”

Officer: “Ma’am, it’s obviously a puppet. A very neat and realistic puppet, but a puppet all the same. I’m going to have to ask you to stop yelling; you’re causing a disturbance.”

Woman: “DON’T LET HER FOOL YOU! IT’S A REAL BIRD!”

(I remove the owl from my shoulder, showing that it stays put with magnets and reveal the hidden cable.)

Woman: “MURDERER! YOU MURDERED AN INNOCENT OWL! MURDERER!”

Officer: “Okay, that’s it. You’re coming with me!”

Maybe Crazy Is In Her Nature

| Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I have fairly long hair, which is dyed dark forest green. I am looking in the produce section, when someone grabs a handful of my hair and pulls on it as hard as they can. I cry out in pain and turn around to see an old woman glaring at me.)

Me: “That hurt! Why would you do that?”

Old Woman: “That didn’t hurt you, ya’ big baby! Anyone can see that hair ain’t real!”

(She reaches for my hair again; I back up and almost knock over a small wire display rack.)

Me: “Don’t touch me!”

(By now we’ve attracted the attention of a nearby manager.)

Manager: “Is there a problem here?”

Old Woman: “Yes there is! This is a natural market! I come here to see natural things, and that hair ain’t natural! I want her out of here!”

Manager: “I can’t do that, but I can call the police because I’m pretty sure pulling someone’s hair counts as assault.”

(The old lady looks stunned, and hurries away. The manager makes sure I’m alright before she goes on her way.)

Receipted All That Was Coming To Her

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a large retail store. A customer is just about to approach my register, when my counter phone rings. It is security.)

Security: “For this customer, just allow the return, then step away from my counter.”

(That is all they tell me. The customer then approaches.)

Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?”

(The customer hands me an expensive bedding set.)

Customer: “Yes, I would like to return this, please.”

(I look at the receipt, and notice it was paid by cash.)

Me: “Okay, one moment, ma’am.”

(I process the return, give her the cash, and step away from my register as if to tidy shelves nearby. The customer walks away, and two minutes later my coworker from another department runs over and grabs me by the arm.)

Coworker: “What in the world just happened? Are you all right!?”

Me: “I’m fine. What’s going on?”

Coworker: “Security and the police just tackled your customer into the lingerie displays!”

(It turns out the customer was a scammer that would come in with just a receipt, pick up the item from the shelf that matched the receipt while a worker was busy, and then return the ‘bought’ item for cash. The customer had done this to 12 other stores before us. She was tackled when trying to run, after being confronted by the police.)