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Category: Wild & Unruly

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Gun Control Out Of Control, Part 2

| IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Money, Popular, Wild & Unruly

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cable Company]! My name is [My Name]. How can I help—”

Customer: “Now listen here, f*****! I keep getting these calls saying I’m past due on my bill! I pay my bill ON TIME, EVERY MONTH! What the h*** is the meaning of this?”

(The customer continues on in this fashion for about fifteen minutes, swearing at me and calling me names. I finally managed to get his account pulled up, and wouldn’t you know it, he indeed has a past due balance. He has actually been about a month behind on his bill for most of the year. I proceed to explain the situation to him, going a year back and explaining each bill to him.)

Me: “Sir, I understand your frustration, but the fact of the matter is, you’ve been behind a month on your bill for the past year. You’ve been turned off twice in that time. This is why you continually get those automated calls. If you’d like, I can set you up on a payment plan to get you caught back up.”

Customer: “Why? So you and your communist company can swindle me out of more money? You can go right to h***, and if I get one more call about my so-called ‘past due’ balance, I’ll send you there myself! I have a gun, and it’s looking a bit bored, if you get my meaning.”

Me: *becoming angry* “Okay, sir, you have now crossed a very serious line. Are you aware that making death threats is a serious crime?”

Customer: “It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. I will hunt you down, mother-f*****!”

Me: “See, now, I don’t think that’s going to be possible. For one thing, you haven’t the slightest idea where I am. I could be five miles away from you, or clear across the country. So, best of luck finding me. Second, this call is being recorded, as I’m sure you’re well aware, so our entire conversation would stand as evidence in a court of law. Third, in keeping with your ignorance of my whereabouts, you know nothing about me except my first name and where I work. I, however, have your full name, address, telephone number, social security number, and a whole myriad of other information that would prove quite useful to the police, should I choose to file a police report. And believe me, I intend to. Now, would you like to rethink your threats, or do you want to carry on with your plan to gun me down?”

Customer: “…’m sorry.”

Me: “Thank you. Now, these calls will continue until your past due balance is paid. I recommend paying the whole balance in full and getting your account current so we don’t have to have this conversation again.”

(The rest of the call was him mumbling sheepishly and me happily closing the call. Never heard back from him, strangely enough!)

Related:
Gun Control Out Of Control

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The Kind You Meet Down A Dark Bowling Alley

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Wild & Unruly

(My coworker, who is in high school and only on his third shift, and I close the alley at 10 and spend the next hour cleaning and closing up. At 11 pm, we lock the doors and start chatting about the night, when a car pulls up.)

Customer: “Are you guys closed?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we closed at 10 tonight.”

Customer: “Well, we want to bowl.”

(Both people from the car are now out and walking towards the door. Coworker and I are now next to our cars, getting ready to leave.)

Me: “Well, we’re closed now but will open again tomorrow at 10 am.”

Customer: “No, we want to bowl now. Get back in there and let us bowl.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t. All the machines are off, the computers are shut down, and the doors are locked. If you come back tomorrow, we are open until midnight.”

Customer: “Listen, b****, you aren’t getting it. You are going to open the f*** back up and let us in! We came here to f****** bowl and we are going to f****** bowl.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but we are CLOSED. We are currently going home so no, you are not bowling tonight. Please, just come back tomorrow and you’ll be able to.”

(This entire time, the customer’s friend has been staring at us, obviously getting angrier and angrier with every word. He has now moved so he is blocking my car door, so I cannot get in and he grabs my arm.)

Customer’s Friend: “OPEN THE F****** DOORS RIGHT NOW, YOU STUPID LITTLE W****! I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE CLOSED. WE CAME HERE TO BOWL AND YOU ARE GOING TO LET US F****** BOWL. DO YOUR JOB YOU LAZY PIECE OF S*** OR I WILL F****** MAKE YOU!”

(While the customers were busy berating us, they did not see the police officer who patrols our parking lot every night pull in and walk up behind them.)

Cop: “Let go of the girl’s arm and put your hands up NOW!”

(He arrested them both for being drunk in public and the friend for assault. We had to give statements and meet with the cops and management the next day to tell what happened and give them the security footage. We assured my coworker that this was a first time incident but I was still pretty surprised he came back!)

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Making Unwarranted Comments

| KY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Popular, Wild & Unruly

(I am the longest-working employee at a locally-owned business. The store sells batteries in any shape and size, so here I am manning the front, when a customer I recognize comes in with a particular brand battery. The battery in question is obviously beat up, and half the labels on it are gone.)

Customer: “I need to get a new one of these.”

Me: “All right, well, a new one of those runs [amount].”

Customer: “No, this is under warranty.”

Me: “Fair enough; do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “No, I bought it here.”

Me: “Okay, hang on just a second.” *I check our system and find no receipt for the customer for an item of this brand* “I’m sorry, but we haven’t ever sold one of this brand to you before.”

Customer: “Yeah, you did.”

Me: “I have no record of it here.”

Customer: “It’s when you were at the old location. I bought it new there.”

Me: “No, sir. I’m sorry, but we didn’t sell those new at the old location.”

Customer: “Yeah, you did. How would you know? I bought a new one there.”

Me: “I’d know because I was at the old location and we didn’t start selling that brand until about a year after we moved here.”

Customer: “I want you to give me a new one.”

Me: “I can’t do that. I don’t have any receipt on one of these for you.”

(At this point, with a line of customers behind him, he starts cussing me out. I’m a big dude, 6’3” and tip the scales at about 280, as well as knowing how to handle myself, so I’m just standing there, letting him yell at me in full view of other customers and our security cameras.)

Me: “All right, listen. We didn’t sell those new at the old location, I don’t have a receipt so I’m not going to warranty that out for you, and stop talking to me like that.”

Customer: “I’m going to tell your f***ing boss about this!”

Me: “Go right ahead; tell me how it turns out.”

Customer: “I ought to f***ing make you do this.”

Me: “I wouldn’t recommend that.”

(The customer storms out, still cussing me out. The next customer in line watches him go while I lean on the counter and take a few deep breaths.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I need just a second.”

Next Customer: “I’m impressed, I expected a big guy like you to come around the counter and beat the h*** out of him for talking to you like that.”

Me: “Nah, we’ve got cameras. What can I do for you?”

(And that’s how you impress a big company buyer and make a thousand dollar sale.)

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Insert Common Sense Here

| ON, Canada | Popular, Technology, Wild & Unruly

(Customers have busy lives, but sometimes their attention span is ridiculous, even for a preoccupied mind.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, you can insert your card.”

Customer: *taps, and then swipes*

Me: “Sorry, you have to insert your card.”

Customer: *taps furiously and keeps swiping*

Me: “Ma’am, you need to insert the chip in our card reader. You can’t swipe.”

Customer: *continues to swipe furiously*

Me: *sensing there is no getting through to her* “Okay, here. I can do it for you. *reaches for her card, but has hand slapped away*

Customer: “Don’t touch my card, you brat!”

(At this point, I had enough.)

Me: “And you, ma’am, don’t have the right to touch me. I’m done serving you. My register is closed. Please go to register six.”

Customer: “LET ME SPEAK WITH YOUR MANAGER! I HAVE NEVER FELT SO DISRESPECTED IN MY LIFE!”

Me: “Sure thing.” *I call the extension* “Hi, [Head Cashier], a customer wants to speak with you.” *I hand the phone to the customer*

Customer: “Yes, this little s*** cashier should be fired. He started yelling at me and tried to grab my card… Yes. Yes, he is… Yes. Yes, that was me… I will not apologize to that little s***… Fine, you too, f*****!” *hangs up*

Customer: *throws her items at me, including a very sharp drywall knife that hits me in the arm and breaks my skin* “I hope you burn in h***!”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. But before that, I’m calling the police on you for assault.”

Customer: “Not if I can help it, f*****!”

(The customer proceeds to run for the door, but is stopped by our 6’7″ loss prevention associate. He holds her until the police arrive, and I press charges. Last update I heard was that she was spending 10 months behind bars. And all because she didn’t pay attention to me when I instructed her to insert her card.)

Making Them See Cents

| Perth, WA, Australia | Money, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

(A frequent customer comes in and fills up her tank every few days and thinks she’s being smart by putting in an extra 2c, because in Australia we round down/up to the nearest 5c/10c. That means she gets 2c worth of free fuel. Normally we don’t bother fighting if she goes over and up to 5c, because it’s not worth the screaming, but today we have our new trainee on. She doesn’t back down easily.)

Trainee: “That’ll be $9.05 today.”

Customer: “What?”

Trainee: “The total is $9.05. Would you like to purchase any in store items for a discount on your fuel today?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want anything. How is that possible? When I left that pump, it said $9.02. I know it did!”

Trainee: “On my system it says $9.03, so it got rounded up to $9.05. Cash or card?”

Customer: “F*** you. I’m going out there to check, and when I come back you better fix this!”

Trainee: “I’m sorry, ma’am, you’re more than welcome to check the price again.”

(The customer at this point storms out of the store and over to her car. I’m trying not to laugh, because this woman once threw a loaf of bread at me for doing the exact same thing. When she storms back in, she throws the 5c at the trainee, who is busy serving another customer while she waited.)

Customer: “F*** all of you! I had $9.02 on that f****** pump when I came inside, and you changed it! You are stealing money off of me! I’m calling the cops!”

Trainee: “You can do that, ma’am, and I’ll be happy to talk to them. Would you like an invoice?”

Customer: “You can f*** off back to your own country! Stealing my f****** money and sending it back to your 12 kids I bet! F*** you! F*** this store. I’m not coming back!”

(The other customer’s mouth is open in surprise. The trainee shrugs and the lady storms out of the store screaming very inappropriate racial slurs.)

Other Customer: “What the h*** was that?”

Trainee: “Couldn’t tell you even if I knew.”

(Our trainee is a white Australian. It’s just that she spends a lot of time in the sun and has a deep tan. We forwarded the footage to the local police station, who then informed us we’re the last service station that hasn’t banned her.)

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