Category: Wild & Unruly

Drinking Shooters All Night Long

| Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I’m in line at a local liquor store. The customer in front of me has clearly had too much to drink already, and is slurring his words when he speaks. The cashier is a smaller gentleman with long hair, who doesn’t look much older than 20.)

Cashier: “Good afternoon, sir. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I’ll tell you what you can help me with; you can give me all the money you got up in this b****!”

(The man proceeds to pull a gun out of his coat, which then falls to the ground. He stumbles after it, and points it towards the cashier, who hasn’t moved or said anything at this point.)

Cashier: “Sir, please put the gun away.”

Customer: “Not until you give me all your f****** money, you dumb-a** b****!”

(At this point, I’m ducking behind one of the displays but can still see what is going on. Suddenly, the cashier reaches over the counter, presses the clip release on the gun, and takes the clip out. The inebriated customer looks shocked.)

Cashier: “Sir, I’ve just recently returned from my tour in Afghanistan. I can tell that one, you have the safety on, two, this is an airsoft gun that you painted to look like a real gun, and three, you’re clearly far too drunk to fight back if I were to defend myself. So please, do yourself a favour; leave this store before I alert the authorities.”

(The inebriated man looks down at his gun, back up to the cashier, and then drops the gun and runs out of the store before stumbling and passing out just outside. The other customers and I are laughing at this point.)

Cashier: “Anybody want a free airsoft gun?”

Thinks He Is Customer Number One

| Detroit, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

(A customer comes in. While he is a regular, no one on staff cares for him, because he always acts like he should get special treatment.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer]. How are you today?”

Customer: “Fine, Here’s your movies.”

(He throws them on the counter, and they scatter everywhere. I start picking them up.)

Me: “These movies didn’t come from here. In fact they aren’t even from another one of the stores in our chain, but a completely different one.”

Customer: “What do you mean? So I can’t return them here?”

Me: “No, you’ll have to take them back to [Competitor].”

Customer: “I don’t see why! Don’t you know how much money I spend here?”

Me: “Actually, I do know you’re in here quite often, but I still can’t take movies from [Competitor].”

(He argues with me for a while, and I try to calmly explain why I cannot take his movies. He continues to be belligerent, and knocks over other things that we have sitting on the counter.)

Me: “Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “Fine! I’m leaving and taking my business elsewhere!”

(As I watch him leave the store, instead of heading toward his car, he goes around to the part of the building facing the road and proceeds to urinate all over the windows. The entire store has huge windows, so after all the ruckus he caused, my staff and our customers in the store all see this. Everyone is in shock over this display. I start calling the police.)

Me: “Yes, I would like to make a report on a man who exposed himself and urinated on our building… Why, yes, I do happen to have his name and his address…”

Weekly Roundup: Customers Gone Wild!

Not Always Right | Roundups, Wild & Unruly

Weekly Roundup: Customers Gone Wild. In this week’s roundup, we feature five stories of wild and unruly customers!

  1. Disco Stu Does Not Approve (6,052 thumbs up)
  2. A Bad Day To Be A Pair Of Jeans (2,271 thumbs up)
  3. Driving Miss Crazy, Part 2 (4,653 thumbs up)
  4. So Much For Spit & Run (2,931 thumbs up)
  5. Cower Before My Shower Of Flowers (1,144 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

She Likes Her Coffee Black Belt

| UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

(My friend and I head to a coffee shop. When we get there, there’s a customer screaming at the barista.)

Customer: “You useless little s***! How hard is it to make a d*** drink? I’m going to ring your manager; I’m going to complain to head office…”

(He continues making threats. The poor girl behind the counter is pretty much in tears. My friend’s patience runs out.)

My Friend: “Oi, mate! I don’t know what’s going on here, but screaming isn’t helping things.”

Customer: “Mind your own business, b****!

My Friend: “What did you call me?”

(The customer turns back around to my friend. The customer is a pretty big guy, six foot, and fairly wide. My friend is five four, female, and fairly unimposing. He squares up to her.)

Customer: “I called you a b**** who should learn to mind her own business. Now p*** off!”

(The customer shoves her.)

My Friend: “Don’t touch me.”

Customer: “Or what?”

(The customer goes to shove her again. My friend grabs his arm, turning with it, and throws him to the ground hard enough to wind him. She puts her foot over his crotch.)

My Friend: “Or you learn I have a black belt in judo. Apologize to the nice lady now.”

(The customer apologizes, but the police are still called. My friend and I get a free lunch!)

Invoking Blind Fury

| Culpeper, VA, USA | Health & Body, Home Improvement, Wild & Unruly

(I’m working in the area of the store where we have patio furniture and the like. Per my standard style, my hair is pulled up but my long bangs are heavily covering my left eye. I’m helping a little old lady with some patio cushions.)

Me: “Yes, this style will fit your furniture. It’s UV-stable, so if it’s out for a long time it won’t damage, crack, or fade too quickly.”

Lady: “Oh, thank you so much! You’ve been just so helpful. Why, it’s so difficult to get straight answers sometimes; everyone’s always in such a hurry!”

(The customer starts rambling a bit, as older ladies sometimes do. I’m used to this behavior, so I tune out just a bit, and consider when I should take my next break. Suddenly I see the customer reach towards my face, and I tune back in immediately.)

Lady: “Young people nowadays just don’t know anything! Look at you! Get that hair out of your face! If you leave your hair in your eye like that, you’ll go cross-eyed!”

(The customer has her hands on my face, and is physically pushing my hair out of my eye. As we’re not allowed to touch customers no matter what, I simply back up. The customer gets aggravated.)

Lady: “Now come here missy, and stop being so disrespectful!”

Me: “Ma’am, let me stop you right there. I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t touch me again. Second, if you will let me move my own hair out of the way, you will see that my left eye is severely crossed. I was born with significant strabismus, and can’t see out of that eye. I have never been able to see out of it. I usually have my hair covering my left eye because it often disturbs customers, and they don’t know which eye to look at. So, I don’t think your advice has much weight here, does it?”

Lady: “Well… you should consider yourself lucky! My niece was born with a cataract! Humph!”

(The lady walks away, not buying a single thing I have spent twenty minutes helping her pick out. I sigh, put my hair back in place, and decide yes, this is a great time for a break.)

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