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Category: Wild & Unruly

Should Have Stolen Some Military Intelligence

| Albany, NY, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Military, Wild & Unruly

(I’m working at the service desk of a large retailer when I’m called into the security office by the asset control associate while he detains and questions a female who was caught shoplifting. I walk in and the girl is obviously in her early 20s. She’s sitting there trying to force out the most fake sobbing I’ve ever seen. Her boyfriend has come in to support her, but at the moment he has to wait outside the room.)

Coworker: “All right, well, the police are on the way and the store manager is on her way up—”

Shoplifter: “No! Please! You can’t do this! I can pay for the stuff!”

Coworker: “Miss, you tried stealing $300 worth of electronics.”

Shoplifter: “No, you don’t get it! I can pay for it! I was just… I wasn’t thinking! I’ve been really stressed!”

Coworker: “Stressed enough to try and walk out the front door with groceries covering a blu-ray player?”

Shoplifter: “Please! I can pay!”

Coworker: “You had a chance to pay for it when you went through the cash register to pay for your groceries, and you had a chance to pay for it when you walked through the store again, picked it up, and walked right by MORE registers to leave with it.”

Shoplifter: “I just… you’re wearing dog tags, right?! What military branch?”

Coworker: “Marines.”

Shoplifter: “Please! My boyfriend is a marine too! He just got back from Afghanistan!”

Coworker: “Really?”

(My coworker stands up, opens the door, and looks to her boyfriend who is still standing there waiting.)

Coworker: “Hey, what military branch are you in?”

Boyfriend: “Huh? I just finished boot camp for Air Force.”

Coworker: “Thanks.”

(My coworker shuts the door, and stares at the shoplifter accusingly.)

Coworker: “Air Force boot camp? Really? That’s cheap, miss.”

Shoplifter: “SAME THING!”

Coworker & Me: “It really isn’t.”

Shoplifter: “You guys suck! This is so stupid! Let me pay for it! Don’t call the cops! Please!”

Coworker: “Too late. Speaking of the police, your chariot awaits.”

(The store manager decided to press charges as it turned out she’d stolen from other stores in the area.)

A Burger, A Side Of Obnoxiousness, Hold The Manners

, | Germany | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I am ordering inside at a fast food restaurant. There aren’t many people inside but several cars lined up outside at the drive in and most burgers are sold out.)

Me: “I’ll have a [burger].”

Cashier #1: “Alright, but I fear you’ll have to wait a bit. Those are out right now, and several other customers are waiting for one as well.”

Me: “That’s not a problem; I’ll just wait here.”

(I’ve waited for several minutes with my cashier constantly apologizing to me about it taking so long, when another customer stomps in and goes to the next register.)

Cashier #2: “Welcome, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’ll have a [same burger as me] and some fries.”

Cashier #2: “Yes, sir, I apologize in advance, but the burgers are out at the moment and you’ll need to wait a bit.”

Customer: “Hmph! You’d better hurry up. I’m paying good money for this.”

(After about two minutes of waiting, the customer starts to curse at the cashiers about being idiots and not working at all. This goes on for several more minutes until the first burger is done and my cashier starts to pack it up for me.)

Customer: “Oi, that’s my burger! Give it to me now!”

Cashier #1: “I’m terribly sorry, sir, but this lady here came in first and therefore it’s hers.”

Customer: “Stop talking nonsense! Give it to me!”

Cashier #2: “No, sir, that’s not your burger. We will give it to her.”

Customer: “I’ve been waiting for ages now. I demand you to give me my burger. NOW!”

Cashier #1: “But sir it’s—”

Me: “Ah, just give the burger to him. This poor bloke is probably starving since he lost all his manners already.”

Cashier #1: “Are you sure about this?”

Me: “Yep, absolutely. After waiting this long, a few more minutes won’t make it any worse.”

(The cashier gives the burger to the customer, who immediately retorts…)

Customer: “Why didn’t you give it to me faster, you idiots?!”

(I’ve had enough of the customer’s sour attitude and speak up.)

Me: “For one, because that actually was MY order and I was kind enough to have it. For another, in case you didn’t notice, there is a large line of cars outside waiting and the poor guy in the kitchen is all alone. So stop being an a** and go eat your food which you needed so desperately!”

Customer: *storms out*

Cashier #1: “I’m really sorry that you have wait even longer because of him now.”

Me: “It’s alright. I don’t have anything to do anyway.”

(After another two minutes, Cashiers #1 and #2 pack my order and add an extra burger.)

Cashiers #1 & #2: “There you go. A little thank you from all of us!”

The Engendered Confusion, Part 2

| St. Paul, MN, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

(I’m in my hometown, babysitting my three-month-old nephew while my brother gets some much-needed sleep. I live on campus nearby, but because I look much younger than I am people tend to assume I’m still in high school. I’m picking up some groceries with my nephew when an older woman grabs my arm.)

Older Woman: “You ought be be ashamed of yourself! How dare you!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Older Woman: “Parading your little b*****d around like it’s no big deal to get pregnant and drop out!”

Me: “Ma’am, I didn’t drop out. I—”

Older Woman: “Don’t you lie to me, you stupid b****! I’ll have you thrown out of the store!”

(My nephew begins to cry.)

Older Woman: “See, look at what an incompetent mother you are! You’re just letting him cry without—”

Me: “Listen, lady: I don’t know what your problem is, but making my nephew cry because you’re screaming at me is not okay. Even if he was my kid, do you really think it’s okay to yell at a stranger because they may or may not have made a choice you disagree with?”

(As I say this, I can see the store manager, a close family friend, approach to see what the fuss is about.)

Older Woman: “I can’t believe you! I’m going to get the manager and he’s going to teach you about respecting your elders, and maybe he’ll teach you to keep your legs closed!”

Manager: “Don’t bother. You…” *points at her* “…get out of my store, NOW.”

Older Woman: “I am a paying customer! You cannot—”

Manager: “I can and I will, and unless you want the police to get involved, you’ll leave now.”

Older Woman: “This little b****—”

Manager: “—first of all, is a GUY, and second of all, is on the honor roll at [University], and third, is my son’s best friend and grandson’s babysitter.”

(At this, the older woman turns red and leaves without buying anything. My nephew stops crying almost immediately.)

Me: “Thanks, Mr. [Name].”

Manager: “No problem, kiddo.” *grins* “It was kinda fun getting to yell at her. I’ve just got one question.”

Me: “Yeah?”

Manager: “Did she seriously think you were a teenage mother?”

Me: *shrugs* “Some people…”

Related:
The Engendered Confusion