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Category: Wild & Unruly

I Gotta Ticket To Hide

| Lansdale, PA, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Wild & Unruly

(I enter a movie theater when there is only one other customer at the counter.)

Customer: “Hey, can I get a ticket to Insidious 2?”

Cashier: “That’s [price].”

Customer: “Okay.” *looks in purse* “I have three quarters.”

Cashier: “Sorry, can’t allow you.”

Customer: “No! You said I could go in; you WILL let me!”

Cashier: “No, you don’t have enough; I wasn’t to know.”

Customer: “You’ll sell me that ticket!”

Cashier: “I can’t; it’s against policy.”

(The customer walks outside.)

Me: “I’d like a ticket to Justin and the Knights of Valor.”

Cashier: “Sure.”

(I pay and go to the ticket inspector. Before I know what has happened, the customer has run back in, snatches my ticket, rushes past the ticket inspector and runs towards the ‘Insidious’ theater. The ticket inspector and I run after and enter the theater, where commercials are still playing.)

Me: “Hey! That was my ticket!”

Ticket Inspector: “Give him back his ticket, please.”

Customer: “No! His ticket wasn’t ripped!” *shows ticket* “This one is.”

Ticket Inspector: “That’s because you STOLE his ticket. Give it back.”

Customer: “Piss off!”

Ticket Inspector: “Give it back or I’m getting security.”

Other Moviegoer: “Just give the d*** thing back!”

(Others in the theater are agreeing.)

Customer: “No. It’s mine, and you can’t prove it’s yours. You’re just a silly little boy and you think you can get what you want.”

Ticket Inspector: *on radio* “Could security please come to screen three?”

(At this point, the customer begins eating the ticket. The inspector tries ripping it from her hands, but she has already eaten most of it.)

Customer: “Can’t prove it now!”

(Security came and took her away. The ticket inspector apologized for her behavior and gave me my money back.)

The Register Light Is On But Nobody’s Home

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I live in a small town with only two grocery stores. I’m constantly complimented on my friendliness and professionalism. When it’s slow, we assist customers. Today a customer has asked me to return a cart, during which we’re told to put our closed sign up on our lane, but keep the light on. After assisting three more customers, I wander back to my till that has the closed sign up to find a woman unloading her cart at my till.)

Me: “Oh! Hello, ma’am. Just for future reference, even if the light is on, but the closed sign is up, the till is not open. That way you won’t have to wait next time.”

Customer: “THE LIGHT WAS ON! YOU’RE OPEN IF IT’S ON!”

Me: “Ma’am, I do apologize, but the sign was clearly up. I’m just letting you know for next time so you won’t be delayed! I truly apolo—”

Customer: “IF THE F****** LIGHT IS ON, YOU’RE GODDAMNED OPEN. SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND DO YOUR JOB!”

Me: “Ma’am, I truly am sorry about that—”

(At this point, the customer has finished slamming her purchases onto the counter and leans over the lane to be about two inches from my face. It should be noted I’m in my mid-twenties.)

Customer: “I DID NOT COME HERE TO BE LECTURED BY SOME STUPID LITTLE CHILD!”

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize. I wasn’t trying to lecture you—”

Customer: “MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU CAN SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND DO YOUR JOB, YOU IDIOT!”

(At this point I stay quiet throughout the rest of the transaction, process her card, and hand her the receipt to sign. I say nothing.)

Customer: “Thank you!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I SAID THANK YOU!”

(As she leaves, she pulls over my supervisor.)

Customer: “I need to give a formal complaint about the horrible and disrespectful service this employee gave!”

(The next customer going through the till behind me walks over.)

Next Customer: “And I have to comment on how polite that employee was, despite you being so rude!”

(Both customers got into a verbal altercation. Thank you to the random customer who stood up for me!)

Doesn’t Give Two Hoots About Listening

| AB, Canada | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

(My city is having an annual festival in the downtown area. I have an animatronic owl that I like to bring out on such occasions. It sits on my shoulder and moves in a very life-like manner. Kids love it and are very respectful of it. Adults, on the other hand are not. A woman grabs me by the shoulder, spins me around, and yells…)

Woman: “WHAT IS THAT?!”

Me: “Whoa… um, please don’t touch me. It’s a puppet.”

(I begin to walk away, but she grabs me again and tries to knock the owl off my shoulder.)

Woman: “IT LOOKS SO REAL! WHY DO YOU HAVE AN OWL ON YOUR SHOULDER?! HAVING A PET OWL IS ILLEGAL!”

Me: “Again, please don’t touch me, and DO NOT touch my puppet. And it IS a puppet, not real. It’s made of faux fur, polymer and cables.”

(The woman starts yelling to a police officer, who is monitoring the event.)

Woman: “THIS WOMAN HAS A PET OWL! ARREST HER! IT’S ILLEGAL!”

(The officer comes over, and examines my owl puppet.)

Officer: “So how does this thing work?”

(I explain how I control it with a hidden cable, and how it’s made.)

Woman: “SHE’S LYING! THAT’S A REAL BIRD!”

Officer: “Ma’am, it’s obviously a puppet. A very neat and realistic puppet, but a puppet all the same. I’m going to have to ask you to stop yelling; you’re causing a disturbance.”

Woman: “DON’T LET HER FOOL YOU! IT’S A REAL BIRD!”

(I remove the owl from my shoulder, showing that it stays put with magnets and reveal the hidden cable.)

Woman: “MURDERER! YOU MURDERED AN INNOCENT OWL! MURDERER!”

Officer: “Okay, that’s it. You’re coming with me!”