Category: Wild & Unruly

It Only Goes Downhill From Here, Part 2

| CA, USA | Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(The venue I am working is on top of a big hill. It has a driveway that leads to a small parking lot which is being used for the choir that is performing. An elderly customer and her daughter pull up.)

Elderly Customer: “Hi, we’re here for the event.”

Me: “Great, are you with the choir or a guest?”

Daughter: “We’re guests, so can we just go up now?”

Me: “Oh, the parking lot up there is being used for the choir that’s performing tonight. You’ll have to park down here. But if you don’t want to walk, there is a golf cart that can take you up there. He just went up, but he will be back down momentarily.”


Me: “Miss, the parking lot up there is being used for the choir that you will be seeing tonight. They all had to drive here so we let them use the parking lot. If you park down here on the road, the golf cart will take you right up to the event. If you were to park in that parking lot, you would have to walk up stairs. The cart will drop you off right at the event and you won’t have to walk up those stairs.”


(They drive up to the parking lot. I think I am done with them, and hoping they will get towed. After about five minutes, they come speeding back down the drive way, almost hitting a man and his wife who decided to walk up. They stop to yell at me, and the daughter throws a full, sealed, 32 oz. drink bottle at me. It hits me in the face, causing my nose to bleed. They speed off, never to be seen again.)

It Only Goes Downhill From Here

Left A Stool In The Stall

| Woodbridge, VA, USA | Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I work in the changing room of a popular teen clothing-store.)

Customer: “Where is your bathroom?”

Me: “Oh, our bathroom is in the back. We can’t let you go back there. If you go out the store, and turn left, there is a restroom over by [sub shop].”

Customer: “Can’t I just use it this once? Please?”

Me: “No, I’m very sorry. But that restroom near [sub place] is really only a three-minute-walk from here.”

Customer: “Why can’t I just use yours! I really need to go!”

Me: “No, ma’am. We have merchandise back there; I can’t let you use it.”

Customer: “B****!”

(She storms out of the store. I go on break for half an hour. When I come back, there is a horrific smell coming from the changing rooms. I go back there, and I see the customer standing outside one of our back stalls.)

Customer: “Serves you right!”

(She runs out of the store as I turn to look into the stall. She’d grabbed a bunch of clothes, thrown them on the floor, and urinated and defecated on them.)

Me: “I’m not cleaning that up.”

Coworker: “Teen girls be crazy!”

June Themed Story Giveaway: Wild & Unruly

Not Always Right | Announcements, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly
Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
Enter Not Always Right’s June Themed Story Giveaway:
Wild & Unruly!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about wild & unruly customers.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning May Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Bigots. The winning submission: The Homo Critical Are Hypocritical (2,127 thumbs up).

PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, July 3!

Assault And Battery Included

| OK, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am working retail at a catalog showroom. A customer approaches me with a box for a board game. Being a catalog showroom, the box is for display only, and we have to pull one from the warehouse in the back.)

Customer: “I need this game for my kid.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll ring it up and get you one from the back. This is just a display box, and it’s empty.”

Customer: “I want this one.”

Me: “You want an empty box?”

Customer: “No, I want this game.”

(I just start ringing him up, while trying to smile. I then find out we are out of stock.)

Me: “Sir, unfortunately, this game is out of stock. We should have it back on Tuesday with our next truck delivery.”

Customer: “But it was on display.”

Me: “Sir, I understand, but I can’t sell you an empty box. If you’d like, I can check one of our other stores in the area.”

Customer: “F*** it!”

(He slams the box down on my hand, which is on top of some open—and sharp—ring binders. All four fingers get slammed into the rings, and start bleeding at the knuckles profusely. The customer leaves, and then I leave the register. My manager comes up to me in the back.)

Manager: “You handled that a lot better than I would have.”

(I get the rest of the day off, and decide to do some shopping in the mall. I spot my angry customer at the food court. I go up to the local security, and let him know what had transpired at the store. The security guard goes over to the customer, and has a discussion with him. I just sit at another table, watching the free entertainment as the customer starts to shake like a leaf, as my security friend explains what assault and battery is.)

Drinking Shooters All Night Long

| Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I’m in line at a local liquor store. The customer in front of me has clearly had too much to drink already, and is slurring his words when he speaks. The cashier is a smaller gentleman with long hair, who doesn’t look much older than 20.)

Cashier: “Good afternoon, sir. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I’ll tell you what you can help me with; you can give me all the money you got up in this b****!”

(The man proceeds to pull a gun out of his coat, which then falls to the ground. He stumbles after it, and points it towards the cashier, who hasn’t moved or said anything at this point.)

Cashier: “Sir, please put the gun away.”

Customer: “Not until you give me all your f****** money, you dumb-a** b****!”

(At this point, I’m ducking behind one of the displays but can still see what is going on. Suddenly, the cashier reaches over the counter, presses the clip release on the gun, and takes the clip out. The inebriated customer looks shocked.)

Cashier: “Sir, I’ve just recently returned from my tour in Afghanistan. I can tell that one, you have the safety on, two, this is an airsoft gun that you painted to look like a real gun, and three, you’re clearly far too drunk to fight back if I were to defend myself. So please, do yourself a favour; leave this store before I alert the authorities.”

(The inebriated man looks down at his gun, back up to the cashier, and then drops the gun and runs out of the store before stumbling and passing out just outside. The other customers and I are laughing at this point.)

Cashier: “Anybody want a free airsoft gun?”

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