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Category: Wild & Unruly

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Throw The Google Book At Them

| PA, USA | Geography, Technology, Wild & Unruly

(I’m working the Reference Desk at my local library. We often get questions from people asking for local phone numbers, addresses, etc., along with the general library questions. Calls like this one, where an elderly patron can’t find a number in their phone book, are very common.)

Me: “[Library], Information Services. This is [My Name].”

Patron: “Uh, I couldn’t find a local business in the phone book. Do you by chance have it in your Google book?”

(The patron is audible, but is slightly hard to hear because her television is so loud that I can clearly hear everything and identify the game show she is watching.)

Me: “I can definitely see if I can find it online for you. What business are you looking for?”

Patron: “Oh, dear… Uh… It was a local discount store…” *incoherent mumbling while [Game Show] is coming through more clearly than she is* “Oh! It’s [Dollar Store #1]! I want the one on [Boulevard I’m unfamiliar with].”

Me: “Sure thing! Let me check if it’s listed.” *pulls up all the listings for [Dollar Store #1]* “Ma’am, I don’t see one on [Boulevard], and I’m also not too familiar with it. Do any of these locations sound nearby?” *lists the locations*

Patron: *suddenly turns mean* “YOU’RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT! It’s on [Boulevard]! You’re supposed to know it and have it in your Google!” *continues ranting*

Me: *trying to avoid just hanging up on her, I suddenly realize there are two different dollar store chains in the city* “Uh, ma’am? Ma’am? Did you by chance mean [Dollar Store #2]? I just looked it up and there’s one on [Boulevard].”

Patron: *another mood flip* “Oh? Maybe. I forgot there were two of them. I’m sorry… Is it by [Department Store]?” *clearly very embarrassed*

Me: “Yes. That’s coming up on the map. Is this what you needed the phone number for?”

Patron: “Yes, and would you mind speaking up? I can’t hear you over my television. What’s the phone number?”

Me: *can’t really speak up, or else I would be shouting* “The number is…” *starts slowly giving the phone number*

(I end up having to repeat the phone number at least ten times. She keeps making up numbers and thinking that some are doubled up. Eventually:)

Me: “Ma’am? I’m just going to start over and give you the number slowly. That way we know that no one is losing their place. All right?”

Patron: “All right. What is it?”

(I slowly give the number, pausing a second between numbers. Right after the area code and first three digits…)

Patron: “Oh, hold on, honey. Would you mind waiting while I go find a pen and paper? I’m not going to remember this whole thing. That’s why I kept getting mixed up!”

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Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 14

| Burnsville, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

(I manage a retail store that does engravings. When customers want something done we go to a little counter, stand opposite the customer, and explain pricing. I am due to have my daughter any day when this happens. I’m tall and have always been really skinny.)

Nice Young Couple: “We want to get [Item] with [Name] on it.”

Me: “Oh, that’s such a cute name!”

(I explain the pricing. All is going well.)

Woman: “I’m six months along and feel like a whale! How far are you?”

Me: “I’m nine months. Actually, the doctor said I should have popped a week ago. When I’m done working, I walk the Mall of America like a crazy person because a manager over there swears it helps induce labor!”

Woman: “You’re nine months!? Why are you so small?!”

Me: “I don’t know. I’m just naturally skinny but the doctor predicted that she would at least be seven pounds or more.”

Woman: *suddenly incredibly angry* “I’m only six months and bigger than you! That’s not fair!”

(At that point the woman went savage and actually tried to climb over the counter to hit me. Her boyfriend grabbed her and dragged her out of the store kicking and screaming “It’s not fair!” while giving me a look that said “I’m so sorry!” Two days later I got my doctor to give me a note saying I couldn’t work anymore while pregnant because of blood pressure issues. I had my baby a week later and quit when my maternity leave was up. I have never, and will never, go back to retail. I have a lot of respect for people that stick it out. You don’t get paid enough.)

Related:

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 13

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 12

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 11

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Drive-Thru To The Explosive End

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(I work the graveyard shift and have to clean the whole store while still taking orders. We are trained to not sell at the window for safety reasons, since the area isn’t the safest place you can be.)

Man: *knocks on the window*

Me: *cracks it open a bit* “I’m sorry, sir, but I am not allowed to sell at the window.”

Man: “Why not? I’m a paying customer. I should be able to get my food!”

Me: “Sir, the drive-thru is for cars only. These are corporate policies…”

Man: “So you’re saying I can’t buy anything here right now since I don’t have a car?”

Me: “Yes, that’s exactly what I am saying.”

Man: “But I’m hungry.”

Me: “Sir, I told you I can’t sell at the window. I have stuff I still need to clean: my dining room, my fryers, my shake machine, bathrooms, and drive-thru, just to name a few. A few tacos to get written up seems hardly worth it; my boss has video cameras watching everything that goes on in case a customer causes a disturbance or if an employee tries to steal food or money.”

(I point to a camera which my boss has there just to deter people; it doesn’t actually work. I use this so I have an excuse to get back to cleaning.)

Man: “So you’re saying you just don’t give a f***, then?”

Me: “Well, I guess if you want to put it that way, then yes, sir, you’re describing that on point.”

Man: “Homie, I should just beat your a** right now.”

(I look at him with a straight face, then yell “HAHAHA” and close the window and put the metal napkin holders in front of it so he can’t open it, since it has no lock. I walk away, and as I’m walking away I hear him hit the window. My headset then dings indicating a car is coming to order.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Establishment]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: *sounds like he’s yelling from really far away* “Uh, yeah, you know your speaker is on the ground out here, right?”

Me: “W… what?”

(I told the guy to come up to the window so I could place his order because we could barely hear each other. I went outside and propped the speaker up against the menu board, with plenty of cursing to accompany it.)

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Severely Lacking In Awesome Sauce

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Popular, Wild & Unruly

(I am closing drive-thru. We have packets of our signature sauce for drive-thru customers, but we also have pumps of it out in the lobby. Due to health code regulations, we’re not allowed to use the pumps for serving to customers.)

Customer: “Hey, do you mind if I get [Sauce]?”

Me: “Sure, no problem.” *I try to hand her some packets*

Customer: “Actually, can you put some sauce in a side cup for me from the pump in the lobby?”

(After explaining the health code to her, she suddenly gets very unreasonable.)

Customer: “What do you mean it’s unsanitary?! I’m going to go in there, dump out all of the sauce onto the floor, and make you replace it.”

(I have no patience after a long night.)

Me: “Well, you’re welcome to try, but you’ll be leaving in handcuffs.”

(At this point she just sped off.)

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A Stamp Of Disapproval

| Peachtree City, GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Wild & Unruly

(I work for a very large pharmacy/convenience store that has a very specific return policy. If it’s an item of our brand, it can be returned no matter what: empty, destroyed, no receipt, anything. However, it’s returned and you’re given a ”money card,” which can be used on anything in-store except for prescriptions and cigarettes. A woman from the neighboring trailer park knows this and this occurs almost daily. Today is my last day working.)

Me: *currently restocking the candy in front of my till when I hear a loud cough and see the customer standing three spaces away waiting* “Ma’am, may I help you?”

Lady: “About fucking time. I have a return. I demand you help me now!”

Me: *I walk back to my till, grabbing her items on the way, and start the return by scanning her receipt, noting that she paid with food stamps for her purchase* “Okay, this shouldn’t be an issue. Do you have the food stamp card used? I just need to scan it to reimburse you.”

Lady: “It’s not a food stamp card, you assumptive piece of s***! It’s just for us folks who don’t have a rich daddy to pay for s***. And no, I don’t have it with me.”

(She proceeds to grab the receipt from me.)

Lady: “Just give me one of those d*** cards, okay? God, you take forever.”

(I cancel out the return and begin a return without receipt, which requires my manager to okay that I am activating the card.)

Me: “Okay, this should be just fine; just give me one moment to get my manager to activate the card.”

Lady: “Of course. Hurry up; I don’t have all day, Princess.”

(At this point, I’ve had to deal with her so many times that I am almost joyfully taking my time. I knock on my manager’s office and let him know who it is and what’s going on.)

Manager: “Ma’am, this will just take me a quick moment. Can I ask why you’re returning this?”

Lady: “It’s f****** disgusting. All your products are. Just give me my card finally.”

(My manager tells her how to use the card and gives it to her with a printed balance.)

Lady: “I’m just going to use it now, you f****** idiot. Princess, can you finally get off your fat a** and get me a carton of [Cigarette Brand] and two lighters?”

Manager: “Ma’am, I have already told you that you cannot buy cigarettes with this card.”

Lady: “I don’t care! Bad enough you can’t give me my money back. Let me get my f****** cigarettes.”

(At this point, I’m completely shocked. Usually, telling her gets her to go to a different store.)

Manager: *speaking to me* “Did her original receipt show food stamps again?”

Lady: “THEY ARE NOT STAMPS!”

Me: “Yes.”

(At this point, my manager asks for the card so he can “fix the issue” and hands it to me.)

Manager: “Can you please dispose of this for me? As for you ma’am, I demand you leave. This is the fifth time you’ve tried to get cigarettes with food stamps and I cannot take this.”

Lady: *completely irate* “No! I demand my god-d*** f****** cigarettes, you f****** c***!”

(Knowing this is my last day, I look at her completely stone faced and snap the card in half.)

Me: “You need to leave. Now.”

(She later came back that day with a police officer, claiming that we stole from her. My manager took the officer into the room, explained the situation, and showed him both the returned product and the snapped card. She was arrested for food stamp fraud.)

Manager: “You can go home early today. When you’re at college, do something not to end up here.”

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