Category: Wild & Unruly

A Very Heated Argument

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a pizzeria with a counter for selling individual slices. It’s late in the day but I still have four fresh pepperoni pizzas for sale. They just came out of the oven as per my request to the baker, to minimize the transition between lunch and dinner. It’s three pm and my coworker will be handling the counter when she arrives at four.)

Customer: *approaches the counter* “I’ll have four pepperoni slices and a [Drink]!”

Me: *inputs this into the computer* “That’ll be [price].”

Customer: *drops money into my hand* “Make sure they’re hot!”

Me: “The baker just made these.” *I carefully touch the pizza on top with my gloves on; it feels hot*

(I dish up the slices and get the customer his Drink from the fridge. The customer sits down to eat at a table, while I begin restocking the pop and juice in the fridge. The customer then screams at me and throws a slice of hot pizza at my head; luckily, I’m wearing a hat, but there is now cheese in my ponytail. I feel something hit the back of my head; the boiling hot cheese.)

Me: “Umm, can I help you?”

Customer: “These! Are! Cold!”

Me: *startled* “Um… umm.. sir… sir… actually… the cheese in my hair feels hot… ummm… and it really hurts.”

Customer: “I demand to speak to the manager!”

Me: “Actually… the owner is… right here.”

(The owner had been sweeping in front out the counter. He’s a short Italian man with a temper, but is always nice to me. He refers to all of the teenage and early twenty-year-old staff as “his kids.” He saw the whole thing.)

Owner: “Did you just throw a slice of pizza at one of my kids who was nothing but nice?”

Customer: *stammers* “But… she… It’s… It’s cold.”

Owner: “Get the f*** out of my restaurant.”

Customer: *scampers out*

Owner: *to me* “Go wash the cheese out of your hair; I’ll watch the front. You’re on break. And ya can’t let anyone talk to you like that!”

(I return from cleaning my hair and hat to find my food upstairs, paid for already. Apparently the guy came back to apologize and paid for my lunch!)

Floored By This Behavior

| USA | Liars & Scammers, Wild & Unruly

(I have arrived at a customer’s home for an installation.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name] with [Company], and—”

Customer: *interrupts me* “Take your shoes off!”

Me: “I’m sorry, due to OSHA regulations I have to leave them on, but I do have shoe covers I wear to protect your flooring.”

Customer: *sighs* “I guess that will work. Come in.”

Me: “May I see your television?”

Customer: “My son is asleep in there right now, so no.”

Me: “Oh, is this a bad time? We can always reschedule.”

Customer: “No! I want it done today!” *sighs* “I guess I’ll wake him up!”

(The son is around 19 years old and it’s 10 in the morning.)

Customer: *as I’m looking behind TV sets, hands a rag down* “I need you to dust while you are back there.”

(I pretend not to hear her and go about my inspection.)

Me: “I need to grab some things from my truck; I’ll be right back.”

Customer: *runs outside screaming* “You’ve scratched my floor! You’re going to have to pay for it! I want you off my property now!”

Me: *stunned at this point* “Ma’am, I can assure you I did not scratch your floor—”

Customer: “I SAID GET OFF MY PROPERTY OR I’M CALLING THE COPS!”

Me: “Ma’am, I would be happy to leave, but my equipment and tools are inside and I’ll need them before I go.”

Customer: “That’s it! I’m calling the cops!”

Me: “That’s fine. You’ll be arrested for theft of my tools and equipment.”

(I pulled my vehicle to the street and waited for the police to arrive. They retrieved my stuff for me and told me she had tried to pull the same stunt with the local phone, electric, and Internet companies.)

Hope He Gets One With The Exploding Battery

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Technology, Wild & Unruly

Coworker #1: “Hello, can I help you with anything today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want to know about the new Samsung phone. How much is it?”

Coworker #1: “Well, right now it’s—”

Customer: *interrupting* “How much is it for a used one?”

Coworker #1: “I’m not actually sure.”

(The customer turns to my other coworker.)

Customer: “How much would a used Samsung phone be?”

Coworker #2: “Sorry, sir, we don’t actually sell used phones here.”

Customer: “I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO SELL ME ONE. I ASKED YOU HOW MUCH THEY ARE!”

(He then turns to me.)

Customer: “Obviously these two are useless. how much is that phone if I buy it used?”

Me: “We don’t have pricing for items we don’t sell, and I couldn’t honestly give you an accurate estimate either.”

Customer: “You’re all f****** useless! Can’t even answer a simple f****** question!”

ISIS Are Pshhh-ing Towards America

| Broome County, NY, USA | Wild & Unruly

(I’m at the soda cooler in a local gas station when a woman comes running in and slams down a bottle of soda in front of the cashier, who appears to be of Middle Eastern descent.)

Customer #1: “I just bought a soda and it’s flat! I didn’t even hear the ‘pshhh’ when I opened the cap!”

Cashier: “Oh, no problem. You can grab another one.”

Customer #1: “I just can’t believe you’d sell a soda that doesn’t even go ‘pshhh’ when you open the cap!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry. It might have just gotten damaged during shipping or something and lost its carbonation. You can go ahead and grab another one to replace it. It’s really no problem”

Customer #1: “I just don’t understand why you’d sell one that doesn’t go ‘pshhh’ when you open it!”

Cashier: “Well, I wouldn’t be able to know they all made that noise without opening them all up.”

Customer #1: “Then do your job! Open them up and make sure they go ‘pshhh!’”

Cashier: “I can’t open all the sodas before I sell them.”

Customer #1: “What use are you, then?!”

(At this moment, another woman comes in and grabs some paper towels that are sitting on the counter.)

Customer #2: “Thanks for letting me use these.”

Cashier: “Oh, absolutely. No problem.”

Customer #1: “What’s going on?”

Customer #2: “Oh, I accidentally pulled the gas nozzle out early and squirted a little gas on the side of my car. I’m just wiping it off.”

Customer #1: *turning to cashier; screaming* “You won’t even make sure you sodas aren’t flat, and now you’re trying to cover this poor woman’s car in gas! This is the most corrupt f****** gas station I’ve ever been to! I’m calling Homeland Security on you! F****** terrorists, the lot of you!”

(She storms out. I walk up to the counter and plop down a soda I’m buying.)

Cashier: “You better watch out! I’m evidently a dastardly terrorist out to steal the ‘pshhh’ from your soda!”

Customer #2: “And don’t forget your maniacal plan to spill minuscule amounts of gas on the sides of people’s cars and make them waste their cents!”

Cashier: “Absolutely. It’s all part of my plan to destroy the world economy by minorly inconveniencing people!”

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Dyscalculating How Understanding They Would Be

| USA | At The Checkout, Money, Wild & Unruly

(I have dyscalculia, basically dyslexia but for numbers. Among some other issues this causes, I occasionally speak numbers in the wrong order, especially if I’m working quickly. Usually the customer and I will laugh it off, but not this guy…)

Customer: “Two packs of [Cigarettes].”

Me: “You got it.” *scans cigarettes and totals purchase to $19.42* “Your total is $14.92.”

Customer: *swipes card and follows prompts, but stops when he reaches the “confirm your total” screen* “What’s this?”

Me: “Oh, that screen asks you to confirm your total before completing the purchase—” *the customer hits “no” and the register returns to asking for payment* “Oh, looks like you hit no. The sensors in the touch screen are a little—”

Customer: “You said my total was $14.92, not $19.42! You’re trying to rip me off!”

Me: “Did I? I’m sorry, I must have misspoken. The cigarettes are $9.71 each after tax, so for two of them it’d be $19.42. I can get your receipt to you, too, if you like.”

Customer: “I’m not paying more than $14.92 for these. This is false advertising!”

Me: *starting to get annoyed that what should be a minute long transaction is getting so out of hand* “Before taxes, the cigarettes are $8.99 per pack. Even IF the register was wrong, which it’s not, I just misspoke, so the total would still not be $14.92. I can sell you the cigarettes for the price they should be, sir, or I can cancel the order, but I cannot sell them to you for less than the cost plus tax.”

Customer: “This is an outrage! You said $14.92!”

(He reaches across the counter and shoves the two packs of cigarettes off it and to the floor, before storming out.)

Me: *after a moment of shock, I cancel the order and put the cigarettes back on the shelf* “Well… next in line, please!”

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