Category: Wild & Unruly

Happy New Rear-Ended

| PA, USA | Holidays, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

(It’s New Year’s Eve, a few minutes before the repair shop closes (early) for the day. I’m a customer. I walk in and end up behind an older woman. She’s paying for her repairs. The cashier finishes with her and asks if she can help me.)

Me: “Yes, I need to have some brake work done. I was hoping—”

Older Woman: “HEY! It’s New Year’s EVE and they are closing in a few minutes. You can’t just walk in and get your brakes fixed.”

Me: “I know. I’m just trying to make an appointment.”

Older Woman: “But you can’t HAVE an appointment; they are closing soon.”

Cashier: “It’s fine; I know she’s scheduling for next week.”

Older Woman: “No, it’s not fine! You don’t treat people like this!”

(This goes on for almost ten minutes, with the older woman interrupting every time the cashier tries to explain. Finally, the cashier manages to get her father, the shop owner, to come out.)

Older Woman: “Finally! Now he can explain how RUDE you are!”

Father: “When did you want to bring in your car?”

Me: “Next Friday?”

Father: “That’s fine. Not sure why it was such a big deal.”

(By now the older woman has finally left. It’s past closing time.)

Cashier: “It was only a big deal because that woman couldn’t understand that making an appointment takes seconds, if she shuts up and lets me do it.”

Me: “Yeah, sorry. She seemed a bit off.”

(We all hear a crash from outside and rush out to check. The woman has backed into the building.)

Father: “It seems like maybe understanding how long it takes to schedule an appointment is the least of her worries.”

An Alarming Amount Of Calming

| IL, USA | At The Checkout, Wild & Unruly

(I am putting my groceries on the belt at the grocery store on New Year’s Eve. I only have about six items but have three more items to put on the belt. A woman steps into line behind me and starts unloading her cart. I move her items back on the belt to finish placing my order on the belt. She apologizes and I nod, turning back to the cashier as she checks me out.)

Customer: *clearly agitated* “Hey! I’m talking to you!”

(I turn to look at her, unaware that she’d been talking to me prior to this.)

Customer: “You can’t be mad about that people make mistakes. You’re crazy. What the h*** is your problem?”

Me: *genuinely confused* “I don’t think I said anything to you.”

Customer: “You gave me a dirty look! What is your problem; people can’t make a mistake?!”

(She continues to rant as the cashier nervously gives me my total which I need to ask her to repeat. As I’m ignoring the woman behind me she’s becoming more agitated and her volume is increasing. Once I pay it turn back to her and smile as brightly as I can.)

Me: “You have a very happy new year.”

Customer: “You need to calm the F*** DOWN! WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM?!”

(I mouthed good luck to the bagger as the customer continued to yell at me as I walked away.)

Caught You In A Jam

| York, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I work in a store that has four floors. I work in the basement taking deliveries so I have very little knowledge of the supermarket itself save for which floor things go to. Occasionally I have to cross the shop floor to deliver said stock. Here I’m on the lowest floor, just returning to my post, when a middle-aged chap in a well-tailored business suit bursts in off the street:)

Customer: *upon seeing my uniform* “Hey, you there, where is your jam?”

Me: *just wanting to get back to my job* “I’m very sorry, sir. I’m afraid I’m not trained as floor staff so I don’t know how to help you, but I’m sure if…”

Customer: “I NEED jam!”

Me: *trying to stay polite* “I’m sorry, sir, I honestly don’t know where the jam is; I work behind the scenes here with stock delivery you see.” *I spot a floor worker* “However…”

Customer: *hasn’t listened to a word* “I NEED JAM NOW! I’m a VERY busy man and I don’t have time to be messed around by stupid, lazy, little people like you. NOW DO YOUR BLOODY JOB AND GET ME JAM!”

(He’s flaring his nostrils, shaking, and getting really quite scary eyed by now, a full on temper tantrum, basically, so I decide to have a go at pretending I’m floor staff.)

Me: “All right, then, let’s see…” *I look up and Lady Luck shines on me* “…ah, I would take a guess it’s probably somewhere near that big 6×4 foot hanging sign just behind you that says ‘Jams’?”

(The customer follows my gaze and sees said sign.)

Customer: *angry sarcasm* “THERE! You see, that wasn’t SO hard for you to do, now WAS it?!” *stomps off in the direction of the sign*

Me: *under breath* “So easy even you might have been able to do it, sir.”

(How urgent a need for jam can anybody possibly have, anyway?)

Friendship Is Tragic

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(A frequent customer who bears a striking resemblance to Liza Minnelli will constantly call our jewelry department and ask vague questions. She has a distinctive voice and particular cadence when she speaks so you always know it’s her on the phone. Around Christmas, we receive this call:)

Me: “Jewelry Department, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Not-Liza: “Do you… do you have jewelry boxes?”

Me: “Yes, we have an assortment of jewelry boxes. Are you looking for anything specific?”

Not-Liza: “I want… a jewelry box.”

Me: *knowing that she has a young daughter* “Are you looking for a little girl’s jewelry box?”

Not-Liza: “Are they pink?”

Me: “We have a few different types.”

Not-Liza: “Do you have… one with princesses on it?”

Me: “No, but we have a My Little Pony—”

Not-Liza: “I don’t want the My Little Pony!”

Me: “Well, we have the My Little Pony—”

Not-Liza: “I don’t WANT the My Little Pony!”

Me: “I’m trying to tell you what all we have.”

Not-Liza: “What DO… you have?”

Me: “We have ones with ballerinas, some that are sparkly, and… the My Little Pony—”

Not-Liza: “I DON’T WANT THE MY LITTLE PONY!”

(Two hours later my coworker and I spot her in the store, with a beautiful My Little Pony jewelry box nestled in her cart.)

Mowing Down The Questions

| MI, USA | MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(I handle special orders at the farm store where I work. Quite a bit of it is parts requests for lawn and garden equipment. In five years I’ve rarely had someone come in prepared with brand and model information, and when pressed for it, they typically get annoyed and try to insinuate that I’m being the difficult one. Case in point:)

Me: “Hello, sir, how are you today?”

Customer: “Well, that all depends on if you’ve got what I want or not.”

Me: “All right, what can I help you find?”

Customer: “I need a part for my mower.”

Me: “Okay, be glad to help. What kind is it?”

Customer: “It’s a rider.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I meant what brand is it?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Aren’t they all universal?”

Me: “Umm… actually, no. There are hundreds of different brands and models, each taking different parts.”

Customer: “Well, mine is the blue one.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I need to know who makes it. Did it have a name or numbers on the side of the hood?”

Customer: “I think so.”

Me: “Great! What did it say?”

Customer: “I painted over all that last year.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Look, I bought it here; you oughta be able to look something like that up in your computer.”

Me: “I can look up parts and prices, but I need a little information to get started on. Is there anyone at home where the tractor is that can perhaps go out and take a look at it and get the numbers off the serial tag under the seat?”

Customer: *disgusted sigh* “Well, see, the thing is, the dog don’t answer the phone!”

Me: “Ummmkay. Well, there are so many different applications. I just want to make sure you get the right part to get you going again; that’s the only reason I’m asking for more information. If I take down your name and number, can you call me when you get home and read what it says off the serial tag? Then we’ll be able to get you going.”

Customer: “So you’re telling me I wasted a trip in here because you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, then you want me to waste another trip in to get you something you should already have? So are you gonna pay my gas money? I drove all the way from [Neighboring Town, which is two miles down the road]. Forget it, I’m gonna go down the street to your competitor!”

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