Category: Uncategorized

The Karma Of Capitalism

| Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Can I help you sir?”

Customer: “Can you…do…this coupon?” *holds out coupon*

Me: “Yes, our two-for-one special. What flavors would you like?”

(The customer then dictates two particularly long and complicated orders.)

Customer: “I don’t like the energy you gave off while making those ice creams. Make them again.”

Me: “Okay…I’ll try to change my energy, sir.”

(Later, after I re-did the order.)

Me: “That would be $3.66, please.”

Customer: “But I have a coupon.”

Me: “A two-for-one means you have to pay for one of the two ice creams.”

Customer: “Pay…? But…free?”

Me: “You have to pay, yes.”

Customer: “But I just wanted free ice-cream…”

Me: “Do you even have any money?”

Customer: “What the h*** do I need money for? I have a coupon!”

Step 1: Insert Foot Into Mouth

| Oregon, USA | Uncategorized

(I am one of the few women working at my computer store. One day a male customer speaks up near me.)

Customer: “Wow, that’s a pretty big rack you’ve got there!”

Me: *looking up from monitor screen* “…excuse me?”

(I then follow his gaze to see him looking at a giant walk-in rack mount we have for sale.)

Customer: “Oh, wow. I gotta watch how I phrase things.”

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Happy PTLBOTT Day!

| Pigeon Forge, TN, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a restaurant outside a national park. Our busiest season is the fall, when the leaves change.)

Me: “[Restaurant], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, are you outside?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m in an office. Is there anything I can do for you?”

Caller: “Well, do you know when the leaves change out there?”

Me: “Yes, they’re changing now. They’re very beautiful.”

Caller: “What?! We missed it!”

Me: “No, ma’am, the leaves aren’t done changing.”

Caller: “Well, we live in New York and won’t be able to make it there today. What day do they change back?”

Me: “Um…they don’t change back. They fall, like the season.”

Caller: “Well, when do you put them back on the tree?”

Me: *gives up* “Er…’Put The Leaves Back On The Trees’ day?”

Caller: “Oh, thank you!”