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Apparently, It Grows On Trees Nowadays

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Disgruntled Bank Customer: “What do you mean I don’t have any money? I still have checks in my book!”

(Customer opens up check book, showing off her blank checks)

Signs Are For Weaklings

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Customer: “Can I have a vanilla ice cream?”

Me: “Sure, but we don’t have ice cream. I can sell you a vanilla frozen yogurt.”

Customer: “This is frozen yogurt?”

Me: “Yea, that’s why there’s a giant sign outside the store that says FROZEN YOGURT.”

Sure Sweetheart, Your Place Or Mine?

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Lawn Care Customer: “Can you fertilize me next week?”

I’ll Have Your Skills And Experience, To Go

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Client: “In the future, I’d prefer not to pay you to make websites for me. I’ve seen what you do, and I think it’s pretty easy. Can you just teach me how to do your web stuff?”

Me: “If you’re really interested, I guess I can teach you the basics of web design, but it’s going to require at least several lessons and it’ll cost $xx for every hour I spend with you.

Client: “GOD, do you have to charge for everything?!?”

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Show The Occifer Some Respect

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Nervous blonde I pulled over: “Hello occifer, what can I do for you?”

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