Category: Uncategorized

Monday Monday

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Hotel Guest: “Do you have rooms available on Monday?”

Me: “What date?”

Guest: “Monday!”

Me: “No, what date?”

Guest: (In an, aren’t you f**king psychic tone) “Jeez, the 11th.”

Me: “Of what month?”

Guest: “MONDAY!”

Always Listen To Your Mother

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Lady Looking At A Coat: “Oh, I don’t know if I can afford it!”

Lady’s Mother: “You’ll have to sell your body on the street to pay for it, hun.”

Who Needs Math When You Can Sue

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Pizza Customer: “I ordered a pizza: half pepperoni, half sausage … and half plain.”

Me: “Lady, there’s only two halves in a whole.”

Pizza Customer: “I know there are only two halves in a whole! I’m a lawyer; this treatment is unfair and I demand satisfaction!”

Vol. 2 of Strange Ways To Hold A Phone

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Customer (speaking over the telephone): “Could you speak up please, I’m deaf in one ear…”

On The Acoustical Properties of Wheelchairs

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Call Center Customer: “You’ll have to speak up love, I’m in a wheelchair!”

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