Category: Uncategorized

Butthead, The Incontinence Years

| Loveland, CO, USA | Uncategorized

(I notice a customer is standing in front of a freezer. After remaining there for several minutes, I get concerned.)

Me: “Sir, can I help you?”

(At this point, I notice that he’s urinated in the freezer. The customer turns around, zips up his fly, and then pulls his shirt over his head.)

Customer: “I AM CORNHOLIO! I NEED TP FOR ME BUNGHOLE!” *runs away*

Coworker: “They don’t pay us enough for this.”

Jingle H*lls

| Minnesota, USA | Uncategorized

(An older woman and her husband approach me during the Christmas season.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a baby Jesus for my nativity scene.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am. We’re currently out of baby Jesus.”

Customer: *to husband* “You hear that?! They’re all out of d*** baby Jesuses!”

Haute Cuisine In A Value Meal

| Manitoba, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: *in the drive-thru* “Hello, welcome to ****. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, hi, I was just wondering, what are your apple slices?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, I don’t understand the question. Are you asking for the price?”

Customer: “No, I want to know what they are. On the menu it says ‘apple slices’. What are they?”

Me: “They’re…slices of apple, sir.”

Customer: “That’s it?”

Me: “Yes sir.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought maybe they were something fancier than that. Never mind.”